by Kevin O’Gorman & Andrew MacLaren The surge of popular interest in BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism and masochism) that has resulted from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of novels has been something of a revelation. Beginning as texts whose relative marginality initially seemed ensured by both theme (BDSM) and format (online fan fiction), today…
Tag: transgression
Giving Your Partner Permission to be Dominant
There is a certain camp of people who will tell you that Dominance is an all-natural product (like organic milk), but I don’t believe that’s true. There might be certain underlying personality traits that make it easier or harder, but I think Dominance (as a role in D/s) is largely learned. There are some great…
One Person’s Perversion is Another’s Normality
What is perversion? Whether we’re talking about sexual perversion or behavioural perversion, the question doesn’t lead to a rigid medical definition. What does “perversion” actually mean? Like many terms that we use in our daily lives, it poses a great entry for some interesting philosophical, psychoanalytical creative thinking. “You are such a pervert!” If spoken…
Illustrated Guide – Gay (and Leather) Semiotics
I like these pictures from Hal Fischer’s 1977 book Gay Semiotics – A Photographic Study of Visual Coding Amongst Homosexual Men, not just for how much things have changed, but also for how much they have stayed the same. Gaydar is an intriguing thing. Probably at some stage all gay men have wondered how it…
What’s the Difference Between Kink and Fetish?
Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken. A few decades ago, those into BDSM or leather/latex, or many of our other pleasures, would have been described as “fetishists”. Now we tend to go with “kinksters”. It’s an example of linguistic fashion, but in this case it’s also more accurate. Even though…
Spiritual Experiences in Kink: Reconfiguring the Order of Everyday Life
This builds on our previous article “Spiritual Love(and Kink, and Other Mind Exploring Stuff”. What makes that moment spiritual? And, how do we explain such an experience? i think many of us have discovered some kind of unique moment of spirituality during BDSM activities. We’re probably all familiar with subspace and Domspace, but is there something…
Coming Out as Kinky – Open or Closeted in Public?
It’s said that kinky gay guys have two coming outs. First there’s coming out as gay, then, for some of us, there’s coming out as non-vanilla. Of course, neither of those processes are compulsory, that’s our choice. I’m oversimplifying, of course. I’m a gay, leather-identifying sadistic Dom in a polyamorous relationship. Close friends who’ve known…
Blessed Are the Outlaws, the Rebels and the Kinksters
There must be a reason why people like to do something different once in awhile. We like to go for travel after a year of stressful work, and it feels refreshing. Each time we go for a trip, it feels like our mind and body regain some sense of clarity. For some of us who…
A (Very) Brief History of Modern BDSM Porn in the US
Porn is rich in history and all kinds of things for discussion, but today I just wanted to do a quick rollercoaster-ride through BDSM in America, where it’s come from and why it looks the way it does. BDSM images date back much further than modern history, in fact it can be traced back for…
Dressing Up Isn’t Just For Children
My personal world of BDSM is coloured by gay leather traditions, and within that subculture there are lots of protocols relating role to appearance. Dominants and submissives don’t dress in the same way, and there are some items (caps and boots in particular) where it would be a faux-pas to be wearing the wrong thing….