We all think we share a language when we talk about BDSM, but when you pry apart the abbreviation you’ll often hear people mumble their way through a definition of “discipline”. Bondage, D/s and SM seem straightforward, but what do we mean when we use the D-word? BEFORE WE USED “BDSM” Let’s blame it (at…
Tag: punishment
Buzzcuts and Head Shaving and Why It’s So Hot
by Peter B. Forced haircuts—the idea of an unwilling guy being tied or held down, pleading and then begging not to have his precious hair taken from him. Then the sudden click-thud as the clippers are switched on, and their hum morphing to a low buzzz as they move to his head… Buzzcuts, brush cuts,…
Using the Theory of Planned Behavior for BDSM Training That Lasts
Conversations about Behavior Modification in BDSM usually focus on B.F Skinner’s theory of Operant Conditioning, which centres on positive and negative reinforcement and punishment to influence and instill new behavior. Skinner’s approach is that there are really only two ways of changing someone’s behavior — the carrot and the stick. But, there is a range…
Being a Master – Why She Wants to be Submissive and How To Enjoy Your Slave
by Author Unknown Like all my writings, this is more for myself than anyone else. Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and finally the source of greatest contentment and pride when I…
Illustrated Guide – Spanking
We’ve reblogged these illustrations from Arkham-Insanity at DeviantArt. She’s got a bunch of great spanking illustrations in her gallery worth checking out. Like everything in life, spanking is a personal thing that varies from one kinkster to another. Some people need an excuse for a spanking, some don’t. Some like a warmup and some want…
BDSM Might Not Be Therapy, But It Can Help
Can BDSM be a form of therapy? Is it therapeutic? What do we actually mean when we use the words “therapy” and “therapeutic”? Therapy means different things to different people. For individuals dealing with mental illness, therapy can be akin to physiotherapy, except happening in the mind. We need to stretch the mind in a correct…
ADHD, Medication and Top/sub-spaces
When ADHD combines with BDSM it can be intensely fulfilling or intensely damaging. Overwhelmingly hot and positive, or overwhelmingly bad and negative. WHAT EXACTLY IS ADHD? In Focus, Forgetfulness and the ADHD sub i shared my personal story of attention deficit while trying to avoid the label. ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It’s…
The Seven Elements of Submission
by Hermes Solenzol Although much has been written about the different techniques used in bondage and sadomasochism, less effort has been put into systematizing the dynamics of a Dominance/submission (D/s) relationship. D/s is much more complex than the Dominant simply ordering the submissive around. It begins when the Dominant and the submissive agree that they…
What’s the Buzz about Barbershop Scenes and Head Shaving?
“Hi. My name is Keith, and I cruise barbershops. This is one form of legal nudity. Shaving is sexy. The vibration of the razor’s teeth [on my head] is sexy, plus Dad likes it. It makes me look so fucking good.” There are many reasons for getting, giving, or having a buzz cut. There is…
How To Use (And Not Use) Intermittent Reinforcement in Behaviour Modification
Go into any casino and you’ll see rows of people emptying their purse into slot machines, spurred on by random small wins. Or, if you’re not a gambler, think about the term “addicted to internet porn”. We scroll pages of images or click hundreds of videos, and most aren’t what we’re looking for, but every…