You’ll have heard a “the submissive is in control” line before. They usually go something like this: It is the Sub that sets the majority of any hard limits. The Sub that has the stop/go control of safe words. The sub that has more control over giving or withdrawing of consent. Let’s assume, just for…
Tag: control
Pushing a Boulder Up a Hill
If I had to pull one myth out of the many in BDSM to highlight as “the one I’d most like to change”, it’s the idea that Dominance is some kind of pitting of your own personal force against something. It’s this picture of the world as a big boulder, with the idea that you…
When the “D” in Your D/s Dynamic Stands for Depression
Being a caregiver to someone with depression isn’t an easy thing to do. It is even harder in a D/s or Master/slave relationship. When mental health issues surface, they can often do so seemingly out-of-the-blue. In a D/s dynamic, this can destabilise or cause fluctuation in the power flows between the Dominant and the submissive….
You’re a Dominant, Not a Therapist
I think it’s time we had a few words about mentor-type Doms, but I don’t want to be too harsh. They really are the nice-guys of our communities, and as the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. You’ll know the ones I mean. They believe their role as Dominant is to guide their submissive…
Using Training to Keep BDSM Relationships Passionate
by Ayzad While physical practices allow fantasy to run wild, what really thrills BDSM connoisseurs is the opportunity to take advantage of the full-time regime to push the envelope of the most cerebral forms of domination. Few things can prove one’s ownership of a slave more than taking complete control over their life: when they…
Sexy Chastity Games for boys and their Keyholders
Some time ago we published Chastity – Sexy Games for Solo Players, but we get a lot of enquiries from keyholders for games they can play too. So, the two of you have found the right chastity cage and you’ve got the erections and wanking under control. You might be wondering, what next? Perhaps it’s…
Being a Master – Why She Wants to be Submissive and How To Enjoy Your Slave
by Author Unknown Like all my writings, this is more for myself than anyone else. Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and finally the source of greatest contentment and pride when I…
Objects of Surveillance – Initiating a Virtual Leash
If You could have a real leather or metal leash locked on Your property in public, many of you would definitely do it. It is an ultimate symbol of ownership, control and power. A leash, hooked to the locked collar of your property, symbolises the ownership of that property. Perhaps on the way into the…
Doms: How Controlling Do You Need to Be?
Power exchange in Dominance/submission is characterised by one person wanting to give up some degree of control, and another wanting to take that control on. On the surface it’s not a difficult concept, but like all things that involve degrees, there are infinite points of balance and it is only successful when both people feel…
Doms – Why We Do The Things We Do
There is a romantic image of the Domly Dom, on his throne, with his scantily dressed and collared slave at his feet. At the snap of a finger, food and wine are brought forth, and if he grows bored the slave performs a slow and sensual disrobe and perhaps begins worshiping his Master’s feet with…