consensual non-consent Archives

Can’t versus Won’t in Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)

The topic of Consensual Non-Consent never fails to get people banging heads with each other. Firstly, you have the “relationship” camp and the “session” camp firing arrows at each other. The term “CNC” is used by some to mean an interaction where the agreed boundaries are not negotiated, or are negotiated to be left entirely…

I Wanna Push Your Limits

Should I put my red flag away now? You will hear “I wanna push your limits” from some Dom at some stage, so I think it’s worthwhile talking about what that really means. LET’S TALK ABOUT CONSENT Consent flows both ways and both parties have to retain both responsibility and consent. A bottom can’t say…

The Consent in SSC and RACK means DBADA

Consent seems to be a trending topic in the BDSM community at the moment. Perhaps it was the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, which inserts negotiations over a formal written contract that are not in the book, or perhaps it’s some of the trainwreck consent cases that have been in the spotlight recently….

The No Limits Slave

You’ll often hear people talking with derision about “no limits slaves”. How can they possibly exist? Everyone has limits. Yet, i believe they can and do exist. We read so many love stories where one character is willing to die for the other. It exists in fiction because it is part of our human psyche….

Erotic Humiliation and Degradation

Technically speaking, erotic humiliation and erotic degradation are not quite the same thing, though they are often spoken about interchangably or lumped together as “humilation and degradation”. Humiliation is a mental state, and what humiliates one person may not humiliate another. For example, telling a man he has a small penis may be humiliating, if…

Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)

The two basic negotiation concepts used in the BDSM community are SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). An extension of these concepts is consensual non-consent. CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENSUALITY A mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and to common sense, consent to activities…