Common Sense is Not So Common (don’t be a dick!)

by MutualRespect Voltaire was a talented French writer, playwright, philosopher and historian from the 17th century. He was an outspoken critic of the French aristocracy, religious dogma and corrupt institutions. He was banished from France after a fall out with a minor aristocrat and was exiled to the United Kingdom for three years during the…

The Consent in SSC and RACK means DBADA

Consent seems to be a trending topic in the BDSM community at the moment. Perhaps it was the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, which inserts negotiations over a formal written contract that are not in the book, or perhaps it’s some of the trainwreck consent cases that have been in the spotlight recently….

11 Tips for BDSM Negotiation with an Introvert

Introverts exhibit a very different set of social behaviours, and sometimes it’s hard for non-introverts to understand their different wiring. But please don’t be put off! When you bond with an introvert you invite someone into your life who likes quality rather than quantity, who will probably want to know you better (and deeper) than…

Safewords Aren’t About Trust or Love

We’ve talked about SSC vs RACK and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), but what is the actual function of a safeword in BDSM practices and how important is it that you have one? If we frame a discussion in the terms of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the safeword gives the ultimate power in a scene to…

What To Do If Your Partner Gets Triggered

by Heather Daisy A trigger is an action, word, emotion, smell or other noun that causes a negative, often flashback-style feeling in a person. They are often the result of abuse, trauma, or highly negative emotionally-charged situation. Triggers can happen anywhere, and anytime, which is what makes them so terrifying. What you must remember about…

Submissive Journals as a Tool for Developing BDSM Relationships

You don’t just switch power exchange (TPE) relationships on like a tap, you grow them. To do that, communication is key, and journals are one way to help that information flow. One of the most common reasons for subs to keep a journal is to give their Dom access to their thoughts and feelings, but…

Are Sadists and Masochists Sociopaths?

Are kinksters, particularly hardcore kinksters involved in sadomasochism, or intense power play, acting out sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies? Many people, even professional therapists, believe so. “Psychopathy (/saɪˈkɒpəθi/; also known as – though sometimes distinguished from – sociopathy /ˈsoʊsiəˌpæθi/) is traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, diminished empathy and remorse, and…

How Kink Heals

by tydominic INTRODUCTION I remember hearing rhetoric over the years such as “What is going to happen when all these kids grow up without active parents? Or in broken homes? Or in difficult times?” Well, here we are and we hurt. We hurt so bad inside that we have to do something about it. But,…

Punishment or Funishment?

I think at some point or another, most kinksters have brought a little (or a lot of) funishment into the bedroom. We don’t spend our evenings perusing the Mr S online store because we’ve got out-of-control subs, we do it because we play hard. “you’ve been a very naughty boy. Get over my knee, I’m…