by tydominic INTRODUCTION I remember hearing rhetoric over the years such as “What is going to happen when all these kids grow up without active parents? Or in broken homes? Or in difficult times?” Well, here we are and we hurt. We hurt so bad inside that we have to do something about it. But,…
Kinky Desires – Should You Tell Your Therapist?
Any therapist worth their framed degree will be trying to take a holistic approach to your mental well-being. They’ll be interested in exploring your relationship with the world, and in particular with the people in your world. No-one ever wants to freak out their therapist, but keeping silent about your BDSM lifestyle: – robs the…
10 Tips For Unattached Submissives
by sub cee Being an unattached submissive can be a very difficult thing to live with. First it takes a lot of deep internal searching to discover one’s submissive desires in the first place, a huge amount of courage to come to terms with it and it’s a massive heartache to not have anyone to…
Why is a Sadist?
I realised that we’ve used the term Sadist quite a lot on this site without ever really defining it. Even our Sadist’s Philosophy of Pain doesn’t really define the term. A sadist is a person who enjoys inflicting pain and/or humiliation on another, or observing others being hurt or humiliated, either for power and control…
When Your slave or submissive Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Unless you’re a psychiatrist by profession, the only way you’ll probably ever discover if your sub has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is if he tells you. It’s difficult to diagnose, even for professionals, and it’s often mixed with other mental health issues. If you’d like to read more about the diagnostic criteria, have a look…
Masochism – Can It Be Cured?
CAN MASOCHISM BE CURED? This question carries a subtle pre-conceived notion of masochism – that masochism is a sickness or disease of some sort that needs to be cured. It’s the type of question that is raised with any socially deviant act, along the lines of “can homosexuality be cured” (still being debated, even in…
The Difference Between Masochism and Self-Harm
THE MOTIVATION BEHIND MASOCHISM AND SELF-HARM We have briefly talked separately about masochism and self-harm, but where is the line drawn, and are they interchangeable? The core distinction between them is the intention, or motivation of the person looking for the pain. Masochists derive meaning from pain, be it sexual pleasure, spiritual satisfaction, physical thrill…
Punishment or Funishment?
I think at some point or another, most kinksters have brought a little (or a lot of) funishment into the bedroom. We don’t spend our evenings perusing the Mr S online store because we’ve got out-of-control subs, we do it because we play hard. “you’ve been a very naughty boy. Get over my knee, I’m…
3 Kinky Lists That Are More Fun Than New Year Resolutions
It’s time to close up another year and look forward to a spicy new one, so we thought we’d take a day off from serious issues today and muse on something fun we could all do to get our engines tuned up for the ride ahead. Everyone seems to write New Year resolutions lists at…
Behavior Modification Using Reinforcement and Punishment
Some degree of behaviour modification is part of nearly every Dominant/submissive or Master/slave relationship. The sub pleases the Dom by bending to some degree to their will. Unless there’s an absolutely perfect fit at the beginning of the relationship, there will be some degree of what we’d affectionately call “training”. There are really only two…