WHAT IS ASEXUAL? An asexual is someone who has little or no sexual attraction to others. It’s not the same as abstaining from sexual activity or celibacy. But, like “BDSM”, “asexual” is a big umbrella term that encompasses a range of different levels of attraction. The most common use of the term is for individuals…
The Scene and the Spotlight Effect
by MagnusGrey Understanding the Spotlight Effect has helped me become much less anxious in group settings. The core of the idea is simple. We, as human beings, tend to naturally care about how the people around us see us, including strangers and people we don’t know well. This desire to be liked and accepted by…
11 Tips for BDSM Negotiation with an Introvert
Introverts exhibit a very different set of social behaviours, and sometimes it’s hard for non-introverts to understand their different wiring. But please don’t be put off! When you bond with an introvert you invite someone into your life who likes quality rather than quantity, who will probably want to know you better (and deeper) than…
The History (and Controversial Psychology) of Sadomasochism
The two words incorporated into this compound, “sadism” and “masochism,” were originally derived from the names of two authors. The term “Sadism” is derived from the name of Marquis de Sade. Not only did he practice sexual sadism, he also wrote novels about these practices (best known is Justine ). The term “Masochism” was named…
The Sensual submissive in BDSM Relationships
The journey of being a sub or slave to a Master is more than just passive obedience. You’ll hear lots of advice, like “always be obedient” and “never say no”, but it takes something more to build the foundations of a 24/7 lifestyle relationship that will last. Like anything, BDSM relationships burn out. The thrill…
Self Bondage – Full Body Rope Harness
We’ve created a PDF with step-by-step instructions for a full body rope harness. It’s in our downloads in the sidebar, or download it here. You’ll need one rope, 8 or 9 meters (26′ to 30′) long. 6mm rope looks good on most people, but if you’re a bigger build, you might like the way 8mm…
Leather Behaviour
By George Whiting “The term ‘Leather’ embraces a whole lot of fetishes, fantasies and lifestyles; leather, rubber, boots, uniforms, BDSM etc. As we talk about leather, we remember that it is an inclusive term and that, in its diversity, there is a common thread. Simply explained, that common factor lies in the realization of personal…
The Secret Transgression of an Undercover Lover
Everyday life can get a bit mundane and humdrum. Stuff that used to give us challenge or put a spark in our day gets repeated over and over again, and becomes less interesting. It happens in relationships too. One technique to give you a tingle throughout the day is to add a secret. A layer…
Affordable Chastity Devices from China – Things You Need to Know
China has emerging industries for pretty much everything nowadays, and that includes BDSM toys and chastity devices. i have some personal experience with Chinese chastity cages (my current go-to steel cage comes from China). If you’ve never shopped on a Chinese website before, i wanted to share some experiences and handy hints. i’m basing this…
Self Bondage – Some Words Before You Start
We’re going to run a series of articles on self bondage in the coming weeks, and before we do, I thought it would be wise to say a few words about risk and safety. I know, it’s not the sexiest of subjects, but please read on. This stuff is important, and even if you think…