Gary Chapman’s best selling book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate posits five ways that we express and experience love: • Words of Affirmation • Acts of Service • Receiving Gifts • Quality Time • Physical Touch Everyone has a primary and a secondary love language. These are the…
Anticipation, Anxiety and the Butterflies
We all experiences anxiety, stress and the butterflies start fluttering in our stomach at different times in our life. Because what we do is transgressive and sometimes edgy, there’s a chance that it does happen more frequently or with higher intensity in our BDSM exploration. It might be when we hook up with people we…
BDSM as an Art Form
… a BDSM scene is a work of art, not science, not technology. A work of art is something unique that is created using special skills and reflects the personality and creativity of the artist. Hermes Solenzol – BDSM is not science, it’s an art! We all like to escape our everyday life once in awhile….
Illustrated Guide – Nipple Toys
We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery, one of the many sites that Tumblr killed in their purge. This is a regular series of illustrated guides. You can find the others here. nipple clamps: Any clamp or clamp-like device designed to compress the subject’s nipples. May include a mechanism for adjusting or…
It’s All Smoke and Mirrors
In my checkered career I’ve studied business, design and journalism, worked in PR, been a graphic designer and a magazine editor, and I now run my second design and advertising company. I’m what they call in Singapore, where I live, a “creative”. I’ve only recently started using that as a noun… I always thought it…
Don’t Take My Word For It
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with a site called TripAdvisor. If you don’t travel much or you haven’t come across it before, it’s the Lonely Planet of the digital age, except they don’t editorialise… it’s all crowdsourced. I had such a bad experience at a restaurant in Bangkok a while back that I felt…
BDSM is not science, it’s an art!
by Hermes Solenzol Borrowing from the name of a popular website, I fucking love science! I fell in love with science when I was a pre-teen and have studied it ever since. These days I make a living doing scientific research on the physiology of pain, which is kind of convenient for a sadomasochist. I…
Happy New Year, You Cheeky Monkey
Gong xi fa cai, happy new (lunar) year. Although in the West we like to fix dates (January 1st) for our occasions, in Japan, India, China and quite a lot of Asia, we work with the pull of the moon. So, Lunar New Year is the first new moon of the year. In Shengxiao, or…
Mental Health and the Issue of Consent
If you have read previous articles on this site, you will probably have noticed that we emphasise the importance of consent — basic understanding of consent, different models of consent (e.g. SSC and RACK), the complications and legality of consent in BDSM settings, and more. Consent is the important red line that exists between BDSM…
5 Steps for Creating Healthy Kinky Relationships
It’s a bit of a “just for fun” day today (because Watts The Safeword is always fun), but there’s some solid wisdom in this great video about starting and continuing healthy kinky relationships: So, what were the 5 steps for creating a healthy kinky relationships from Amp and Mr Kristofer? Be Patient Be Open and…