If You could have a real leather or metal leash locked on Your property in public, many of you would definitely do it. It is an ultimate symbol of ownership, control and power. A leash, hooked to the locked collar of your property, symbolises the ownership of that property. Perhaps on the way into the…
Coming Out as Kinky – Open or Closeted in Public?
It’s said that kinky gay guys have two coming outs. First there’s coming out as gay, then, for some of us, there’s coming out as non-vanilla. Of course, neither of those processes are compulsory, that’s our choice. I’m oversimplifying, of course. I’m a gay, leather-identifying sadistic Dom in a polyamorous relationship. Close friends who’ve known…
The Seven Elements of Submission
by Hermes Solenzol Although much has been written about the different techniques used in bondage and sadomasochism, less effort has been put into systematizing the dynamics of a Dominance/submission (D/s) relationship. D/s is much more complex than the Dominant simply ordering the submissive around. It begins when the Dominant and the submissive agree that they…
The Imagined Space of Long Distance Relationships
Long Distance Relationships aren’t that uncommon in 2016. Most of us, at some point of time, have been forced to leave someone that we are really close to temporarily, and some of us are in relationships with someone in another city, state or even country. We try our best to stay connected through internet, phonecalls,…
Predicament Bondage
You’ll be familiar with the saying “choosing between a rock and a hard place”. Predicament bondage is an evil game that leaves the bottom with (usually) two choices, which they’re forced to choose between. Both choices have unpleasant outcomes, but there’s no way out. They have to choose option A or option B, or switch…
Panic Attacks in BDSM Scenes
by Hermes Solenzol Among the many problems that can happen in a scene, panic attacks can be a serious one, especially if the Top doesn’t know how to handle them. They are more common than you may think. Last month, during a talk I gave at Threshold (the BDSM organization of Los Angeles), I asked…
Quiz – Are You a Left or Right Brainer?
We all love fun quizzes. Find out how much of your brain works as a lefty and righty. BDSM practices include intensive psychological observation – understanding to dominate and submit. If your Dom has a strong nature that leans to the right brain, abstract arts and flexibility in everyday life may be very pleasurable. It…
90 Creative Ideas for Erotic Humiliation & Degradation
We get a lot of queries about humiliation & degradation, specifically about practical ideas for things to do. Not every activity is suitable for every person, but here’s 90 fun ones. I didn’t write these, they’ve been passed around on the internet for a while, and before we get into the fun bit I wanted…
Being a Leatherboy is a Lifestyle and a State of Mind
by boydon freeman We all know about Masters and slaves, Tops and bottoms, Doms and subs, but what exactly is a leatherboy? All around the US, leatherboys are participating in clubs, competing in contests, and volunteering for fund-raisers. The boy presence is very much in evidence at leather events. Maybe it would be helpful to…
Taking Out the Garbage
I read something interesting today that I wanted to share, because with all this radical self-reflection we all seem to do these days it resonated as kind of important. The short version is here, on Peter Rudd’s wonderful Coromandal blog. He excerpts from the much longer article Sons of The Beach on WorldHum, and his…