We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery. He’s got great taste in NSFW pics too. This is a regular series of illustrated guides. You can find the others here. You can buy chastity belts, but by far the most popular option for BDSM chastity is the cage. The intention is to make…
Long Distance Relationships and (A)Synchronous Spaces
Long Distance Relationships (LDR) are all about communication. Words are what we have. What sets LDR apart from relationships we have with those in the same physical space as us is that LDR relationships are mediated. We’re not able to touch each other, see each other or physically do things together. Our interaction is mediated…
Submissive Worksheet – Needs and Wants (long)
by blessingb Note: My writing reflects my relationship – female submissive / male Dominant. I recognise there are other equally valid relationships in our world. As the title suggests, this is a long article detailing a process I hope you’ll find helpful. If you prefer to do it in your own time offline, you can…
How to Avoid Hurting the One We Love
by Hermes Solenzol It is quite ironic that the person who loves you the best is also the person who is able to hurt you most deeply. Apparently, romantic relationships entail a great deal of suffering. Everybody seems to think that this is unavoidable, that suffering is just the price of admission for being loved….
Defining Kinks and Fetishes
i frequently come across many questions like this one: Can anyone give me an explanation on what a fucktoy is?! What are the normal (understood) dynamics of a situation involving a fucktoy? How do we define kinks and fetishes? Cultural theorists Stuart Hall and Ferdinand de Saussure said that we make meanings out of ourselves. The…
Old School BDSM versus New School BDSM
Laura Antoniou (author of The Marketplace series of books), wrote in an article called “Leather traditions”, “houses” and other myths people try to sell you on: There are no “old leather traditions.” There are behaviors that individuals and small, isolated groups developed as customs (Bob has a new bike! Let’s all pee on it!) and…
Ask a Neuroscientist: Pain Physiology, Explained to a Bottom
by Hermes Solenzol Imagine that you are being spanked… Stop getting so excited! This is supposed to be a scientific explanation! As I was saying, imagine that you are being spanked, and you are feeling that familiar stinging, warm pain in your behind. In reality, you don’t feel the pain in your bottom. You feel…
Depression, Mental Health and BDSM
Depression falls under the big umbrella term of “Mood Disorders”. It affects a person’s moods with different intensities in a spiralling negativity of sadness and loss of motivation. There are good psychological explainations of depression here: WebMD University of Michigan National Institute of Mental Health Speaking from personal experience, depression may generally be evaluated from…
The Dungeon Doorway Effect
If you’ve ever walked into a room to get your keys and forgotten what you’re looking for, or found yourself staring into the fridge wondering what it was you came to the kitchen for, then you’ve experienced the Doorway Effect. It’s not just you, it happens to all of us, and there’s a straightforward enough…
When Your Dom Can Sleep With Anyone He Pleases, But You Can’t
by Hermes Solenzol This practice seems to be quite common in the world of Dominance/submission (D/s). I have seen people who I respect a lot as Doms do it. And, given the enormous overlap between BDSM and polyamory / non-monogamy, it’s something that needs to be considered carefully from the ethical point of view. It…