Decisions, decisions. Every day we make thousands of them, from the small stuff like “coffee or tea?” to the big stuff like career, finance, health and relationships. There’s a fantasy that some subs and slaves who are just starting out have, that they will meet a wise, intelligent and caring Dom who will make all…
Category: Power Exchange (TPE/TAT)
Which Shade of BDSM Will Set You Free?
by Becca (shadows-dance) I think every person’s kink is unique. Now let me explain myself. 🙂 I think of “kink” as a giant box of Crayolas. We all get one the second we decide that “vanilla” isn’t what we want. Sure, there’s a white crayon in the box, but it’s not our favorite. BDSM encompasses…
Correctional Training: Is Your Slave a Piece of Dirt?
by Morgan There are many ways to “train” a slave—to enjoy man-to-man power and sexual relationships. The most publicised and most visible modus operandi is that of the all-powerful and all-knowing Master who is able to direct, dominate and control the entire world occupied by the slave, who in turn fantasises himself a piece of…
Survival Tips for Polyamorous D/s Relationships
From childhood, we learn that a normal family consists of one male and one female. With the recent welcome wave of gay marriage rights across the globe, hopefully the next generation will not see that gender mix norm. The couple fall in love and share a life, perhaps with a child or two. Often the…
Overcoming Limits of D/s in Long Distance Relationships
The languid Dom in a silky robe leans back in his comfortable chair, takes a sip from him coffee and draws on his cigarette. His naked and collared sub moves forward from his kneeling position to take the cup, then backs away and hurries to the kitchen to refresh it. What we have in that…
The Work of Ownership: When Fantasy Meets Reality
Come here. Kneel down. Do as you’re told. Three simple commands. At first glance, they seem almost too simple, too easy, and too basic to have any meaning. Where is the strict command? Where is the humiliation? Where is the slapping around, smashing his face into the carpet, and verbally abusing the piss out of…
Assent Matters
by SherynB Okay, there’s a 600lb gorilla in the room, and I’m done pretending it’s not there. What we do isn’t pretty or politically correct, and frankly, it’s dangerous if we can’t get (and stay) honest about the reality of it. So here it is as raw and real and un-PC as it is: There…
Physical and Mental Techniques for Processing Pain
We spend a lot of time talking about pain and pleasure in the BDSM community. It’s a very individual thing, and we all have our own preferred levels, and our different responses to pain during a session. Athletes often have their own way of processing challenges to sustain themselves till the final line, and in…
I Wanna Push Your Limits
Should I put my red flag away now? You will hear “I wanna push your limits” from some Dom at some stage, so I think it’s worthwhile talking about what that really means. LET’S TALK ABOUT CONSENT Consent flows both ways and both parties have to retain both responsibility and consent. A bottom can’t say…
Turning Pain Into Pleasure
Pain is a huge part of BDSM. We seem to talk about it all the time. But, language being the blunt instrument that it is, do we really understand each other when we say things like “hit me” or “i love pain”? For some people, pain directly equates to “abuse” or “self harm”, and there…