Power exchange in Dominance/submission is characterised by one person wanting to give up some degree of control, and another wanting to take that control on. On the surface it’s not a difficult concept, but like all things that involve degrees, there are infinite points of balance and it is only successful when both people feel…
Category: Power Exchange (TPE/TAT)
Putting Our Dominant/submissive Relationships into Maintenance Mode
The Dominant/submissive dynamic and TPE (Total Power Exchange) have a magical thrill, both sexually and non-sexually, that makes it fulfilling. The pleasure of being served and serving, being controlled and controlling, makes us feel good and satisfies needs within us. The magical thrill of the Dominant/submissive commitment is what most kinksters strive for. Not only…
Looking Into (and away from) the Mirror of Our D/s
When D/s is not just limited to that one moment of kneeling, but plays out every moment of the day when two individuals are together, that D/s magic becomes integrated and can find healthy expression in work, social life and family moments. – The Inner Selves of D/s relationship The D/s dynamic never happens in…
What’s the Buzz about Barbershop Scenes and Head Shaving?
“Hi. My name is Keith, and I cruise barbershops. This is one form of legal nudity. Shaving is sexy. The vibration of the razor’s teeth [on my head] is sexy, plus Dad likes it. It makes me look so fucking good.” There are many reasons for getting, giving, or having a buzz cut. There is…
Top Drop and Easing Back the Throttle
Our terms for things can be a bit clumsy, and there are actually two ways you could use the term “Top Drop” or “Dom Drop”. There’s no right or wrong way, and both would work within their context. IS THERE REALLY SUCH A THING AS TOP SPACE OR DOMSPACE? One way to talk about Top…
How Ritual in BDSM Brings Us Closer To Our Authentic Self
Every morning when I wake up, there is a breakfast tray on my balcony with food and coffee. In the evening when I go to bed, my boy/s are kneeling beside it. We often talk about rules, rituals and protocols, and I wanted to talk a little about why, of the three, I find rituals…
How To Use (And Not Use) Intermittent Reinforcement in Behaviour Modification
Go into any casino and you’ll see rows of people emptying their purse into slot machines, spurred on by random small wins. Or, if you’re not a gambler, think about the term “addicted to internet porn”. We scroll pages of images or click hundreds of videos, and most aren’t what we’re looking for, but every…
Taking BDSM to a Spiritual Level with Tantra
The first thing that comes to most people’s mind when they hear the word “tantra” is sex. The mysterious spiritually-connected image of Tantric Sex is as legendary as it is aspirational. If you have any spiritual practices, particularly Hatha Yoga and some lines of Buddhism, you might not be thinking of the sex, you might…
Can Role-Play Add to the Pleasure That Pain Brings?
What’s in your sadomasochist (S/m) repertoire? If you think of role-play as “I’m the stern headmaster and you’re the naughty student” then some people enjoy that kind of play and some people don’t find much in it. In this context we’re talking about role-play as making up fictional characters or putting ourselves as real characters…
Brats, SAMs and Break-mes
Brats are possibly something of a misunderstood species. They get a bad rap by many in the community who immediately associate the role with “petulant child”. But is that really what a brat is? We’d call a child a brat if they’re misbehaving, but most submissives who identify as brats see it as a role…