my first collar was granted to me by my Master, in small petshop in rural Malaysia. My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas with presents, and my first collar came to me on Christmas Day, which made it even more meaningful. Master, who was my Mentor at the time, gave me two taps on my right shoulder…
Category: Power Exchange (TPE/TAT)
When a slave Sets a Scene for Master
As a relationship matures, that initial thrill can fade. The Dominant/submissive dynamic is many things, and it’s not always eros in the driver’s seat. What tools are in that black box of BDSM that spark your magic as a kinky individual? All relationships have some form of maintenance, to keep the flame burning. Sometimes we…
BDSM Might Not Be Therapy, But It Can Help
Can BDSM be a form of therapy? Is it therapeutic? What do we actually mean when we use the words “therapy” and “therapeutic”? Therapy means different things to different people. For individuals dealing with mental illness, therapy can be akin to physiotherapy, except happening in the mind. We need to stretch the mind in a correct…
BDSM Culture and Gender Identity
How do gender identity and BDSM collide, and does one influence the other? Obviously, we know that all dominants are not male and all submissives are not female, but could our BDSM roles influence our gender identity, and could our gender roles influence our BDSM identity? It’s important before we start thinking about it to…
Long Distance Relationships and (A)Synchronous Spaces
Long Distance Relationships (LDR) are all about communication. Words are what we have. What sets LDR apart from relationships we have with those in the same physical space as us is that LDR relationships are mediated. We’re not able to touch each other, see each other or physically do things together. Our interaction is mediated…
Submissive Worksheet – Needs and Wants (long)
by blessingb Note: My writing reflects my relationship – female submissive / male Dominant. I recognise there are other equally valid relationships in our world. As the title suggests, this is a long article detailing a process I hope you’ll find helpful. If you prefer to do it in your own time offline, you can…
Objects of Surveillance – Initiating a Virtual Leash
If You could have a real leather or metal leash locked on Your property in public, many of you would definitely do it. It is an ultimate symbol of ownership, control and power. A leash, hooked to the locked collar of your property, symbolises the ownership of that property. Perhaps on the way into the…
The Seven Elements of Submission
by Hermes Solenzol Although much has been written about the different techniques used in bondage and sadomasochism, less effort has been put into systematizing the dynamics of a Dominance/submission (D/s) relationship. D/s is much more complex than the Dominant simply ordering the submissive around. It begins when the Dominant and the submissive agree that they…
BDSM as an Art Form
… a BDSM scene is a work of art, not science, not technology. A work of art is something unique that is created using special skills and reflects the personality and creativity of the artist. Hermes Solenzol – BDSM is not science, it’s an art! We all like to escape our everyday life once in awhile….
5 Steps for Creating Healthy Kinky Relationships
It’s a bit of a “just for fun” day today (because Watts The Safeword is always fun), but there’s some solid wisdom in this great video about starting and continuing healthy kinky relationships: So, what were the 5 steps for creating a healthy kinky relationships from Amp and Mr Kristofer? Be Patient Be Open and…