The truth is rarely pure and never simple. ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest In D/s relationships, it appears that all the power resides in the Dominant, and that the submissive is powerless. But this dance of power is not what it seems. It could be said that D/s relationships contains an inner…
Category: Relationships
Submission Can Be Many Things
by Dark Vulcan To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object. Simone de Beauvoir Submission is a state of mind, not a status. It is a choice, and in BDSM play it is the gift the bottom brings to the scene. However the role-play…
Using Training to Keep BDSM Relationships Passionate
by Ayzad While physical practices allow fantasy to run wild, what really thrills BDSM connoisseurs is the opportunity to take advantage of the full-time regime to push the envelope of the most cerebral forms of domination. Few things can prove one’s ownership of a slave more than taking complete control over their life: when they…
Communication and the Delicate Balance Between Openness and Mystery
In my early 20s I stuffed my belongings into a backpack, got on a plane and took off for adventure. One of the first things I learned along the way was that “culture” meant much more than what language you spoke. There are cultural differences that we don’t recognise at all until we are in…
Developing Rules for Your Relationship
If you’ve bounced in here from our previous article A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships, you might be thinking “well, he’s no fun” and it’s true, it wasn’t a particularly fun look at rule making. But, in that article I was talking about the newbie error of substituting rules for Dominance, and…
A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships
I think it’s common for Dominants/Masters who haven’t had a lot of experience with relationships to go into a new coupling issuing rules the way a parking inspector issues tickets. Way too many, way too quickly, and about all the wrong things. It’s understandable where this comes from. We quickly discover that Dominance/submission is a…
Shy and Introverted Masters – A Field Guide to Recognizing and Loving Them
When people think of a leader, the image that comes to mind is, more often than not, a dominant, assertive extrovert. In the West, extroversion has long been a coveted trait, and in workplaces you’ll find them being promoted more rapidly and getting better performance reviews. That’s exasperated by media and a huge personal growth…
Dominant Energy and the Small Drops That Are Life
The word “tired” is one of those clumsy English words (like “love”) that means a lot less without context. Is it “tired” like “haven’t had enough sleep”, “tired” like “just ran a marathon” or “tired” like “I’ve spent the day with a piled up inbox and the boss on my back”? Synonyms are a lot…
What Makes a Reality Real?
What is reality made out of? We all know that water is made up of two hydrogen and one oxygen molecule, snapped perfectly together to form the shape of liquid under a certain gravitational force and atmospheric pressure. But what about our own reality? Is it so logical? Discussion about BDSM’s association with mental illness…
Piercing and Aftercare – Master got my Nipples Pierced!
A few weeks ago, Master had both of my nipples pierced by professional piercer. I’m still in the healing phase for that and I wanted to share some thoughts on the experience and its meaning to me. FINDING THE PIERCING HEADSPACE There’s always a background story to a piercing or tattoo. Some people get piercings…