By Dr. Michael Dean Goodman (Maheshvara) This is a fascinating topic – one that I’ve spent years exploring. I had the great good fortune to spend years living with, and to be trained and initiated by, a renowned Indian yogic/tantric master – who sent me out to share what I’d gained. I teach tantra workshops…
Category: Relationships
Safewords Aren’t About Trust or Love
We’ve talked about SSC vs RACK and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), but what is the actual function of a safeword in BDSM practices and how important is it that you have one? If we frame a discussion in the terms of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the safeword gives the ultimate power in a scene to…
Quiz – What Kind of Sexual Deviant Are You?
We like to break from the serious stuff for a quiz now and again, but it’s been a while since we posted one. Here’s one you might like, and the cool thing is that it gives you a URL to use in your profiles so that others can see your results. There are 8 pages…
Slaves in Transition – Online to Offline (and back again) in Long Distance Relationships
Change happens all the time in life, and so does transition in our mental state. Quite often, transitions happen in the back of our mind without us even being aware. Anything, from large (a change of living environment) to small (altering an everyday routine), requires us to make adjustments, and of course some are easy…
Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)
The two basic negotiation concepts used in the BDSM community are SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). An extension of these concepts is consensual non-consent. CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENSUALITY A mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and to common sense, consent to activities…
The Psychology of BDSM
by bruce On Saturday evening, after a workshop on the ‘Psychology of BDSM’ was over, I was walking home wondering to myself what really motivated me to pursue BDSM. While the evening started out well, and proved to be interesting by itself, I got the feeling that, by the end of the talk, few panelists…
Submissive Journals as a Tool for Developing BDSM Relationships
You don’t just switch power exchange (TPE) relationships on like a tap, you grow them. To do that, communication is key, and journals are one way to help that information flow. One of the most common reasons for subs to keep a journal is to give their Dom access to their thoughts and feelings, but…
Online BDSM Relationships Need A Safety Net
Online sexting is a thing. We all have smartphones, laptops and gadgets that allow us to venture out into the cyber meat-market. In Malaysia and Singapore (and possibly your country too) it’s difficult to find (kink) social networks outside of the internet. Especially when the universal adage YKINMY (your kink is not my kink) is…
Long Distance Relationships – Helping your Dom When He Drops
We’ve talked about Domspace and subdrop in previous posts as mostly being about endorphin floods (and mental space) during a scene, and the effects of recovering from that when the scene ends. If you’re in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR), you may have experienced a different kind of drop. For the sake of this article…
Ageing Bottoms and the Gay BDSM Community
by Bob Buckley It is (or can be) very nice to have friends. But, sometimes, they do make simple suggestions. This paper came about from the simple suggestion of Daddy Bob (Los Angeles) that I write about the ageing bottom, and from the equally simple suggestion of Doc (Dallas) that I write about the ageing…