Brats, SAMs and Break-mes

Brats are possibly something of a misunderstood species. They get a bad rap by many in the community who immediately associate the role with “petulant child”. But is that really what a brat is? We’d call a child a brat if they’re misbehaving, but most submissives who identify as brats see it as a role…

Decisions in Your D/s Relationship – Head vs Heart

Decisions, decisions. Every day we make thousands of them, from the small stuff like “coffee or tea?” to the big stuff like career, finance, health and relationships. There’s a fantasy that some subs and slaves who are just starting out have, that they will meet a wise, intelligent and caring Dom who will make all…

Illustrated Guide – Hand Signals

We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery. He’s got great taste in NSFW pics too. This is a regular series of illustrated guides. You can find the others here. Some Doms use a standard set of hand signals in their training, but they vary from Dom to Dom and House to House….

A Letter to a Younger Me – and Any Other Young Doms

by SimonShroud I have been in the D/s lifestyle for coming up on a decade. So much has changed in me during that time. I wish that I could go back ten years and sit down with my younger self and have a little chat about what it means to be a Dominant. I did…

Correctional Training: Is Your Slave a Piece of Dirt?

by Morgan There are many ways to “train” a slave—to enjoy man-to-man power and sexual relationships. The most publicised and most visible modus operandi is that of the all-powerful and all-knowing Master who is able to direct, dominate and control the entire world occupied by the slave, who in turn fantasises himself a piece of…

Survival Tips for Polyamorous D/s Relationships

From childhood, we learn that a normal family consists of one male and one female. With the recent welcome wave of gay marriage rights across the globe, hopefully the next generation will not see that gender mix norm. The couple fall in love and share a life, perhaps with a child or two. Often the…

The Work of Ownership: When Fantasy Meets Reality

Come here. Kneel down. Do as you’re told. Three simple commands. At first glance, they seem almost too simple, too easy, and too basic to have any meaning. Where is the strict command? Where is the humiliation? Where is the slapping around, smashing his face into the carpet, and verbally abusing the piss out of…

Physical and Mental Techniques for Processing Pain

We spend a lot of time talking about pain and pleasure in the BDSM community. It’s a very individual thing, and we all have our own preferred levels, and our different responses to pain during a session. Athletes often have their own way of processing challenges to sustain themselves till the final line, and in…

The Three Types of Commitment

In BDSM relationships, we often speak of commitment. What we usually mean by that is that we will do things, in a sustained manner, to benefit the relationship. It is often a commitment to a person (or “people” if you’re poly), but it could also be to a larger collective entity, such as a household…

Illustrated Guide – Types of Collars

We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery, one of the great sites that Tumblr killed in its purge. This is the first in a series of illustrated guides. If you’d like to follow them, then later ones will be here. Collar: Any symbol used to represent that a submissive or slave is…