The Dominant/submissive dynamic and TPE (Total Power Exchange) have a magical thrill, both sexually and non-sexually, that makes it fulfilling. The pleasure of being served and serving, being controlled and controlling, makes us feel good and satisfies needs within us. The magical thrill of the Dominant/submissive commitment is what most kinksters strive for. Not only…
Category: M/s & D/s
Looking Into (and away from) the Mirror of Our D/s
When D/s is not just limited to that one moment of kneeling, but plays out every moment of the day when two individuals are together, that D/s magic becomes integrated and can find healthy expression in work, social life and family moments. – The Inner Selves of D/s relationship The D/s dynamic never happens in…
Dressing Up Isn’t Just For Children
My personal world of BDSM is coloured by gay leather traditions, and within that subculture there are lots of protocols relating role to appearance. Dominants and submissives don’t dress in the same way, and there are some items (caps and boots in particular) where it would be a faux-pas to be wearing the wrong thing….
Keeping the Passion in BDSM Relationships
What we do in BDSM is linked to desire. We can call it servitude, or dominance, or sadism or masochism, or sceneing or sessions, or any of the other many words we use, but ultimately it never fails to come down to desire. We do it because it fulfils this deep need in us, and…
Top Drop and Easing Back the Throttle
Our terms for things can be a bit clumsy, and there are actually two ways you could use the term “Top Drop” or “Dom Drop”. There’s no right or wrong way, and both would work within their context. IS THERE REALLY SUCH A THING AS TOP SPACE OR DOMSPACE? One way to talk about Top…
How Ritual in BDSM Brings Us Closer To Our Authentic Self
Every morning when I wake up, there is a breakfast tray on my balcony with food and coffee. In the evening when I go to bed, my boy/s are kneeling beside it. We often talk about rules, rituals and protocols, and I wanted to talk a little about why, of the three, I find rituals…
The Inner Selves of the Dominant and submissive in D/s Relationships
The magical thrill of the Dominant/submissive commitment is what most kinksters strive for. Not only because of the erotic ambiance that it provides, but there is something visceral about it. When we think of D/s, it can make our heart buzz and give us goosebumps. What really goes on between the stern standing Dominant and…
When the Dominant or Master has PTSD or Panic Attacks
This is part 3 of a 3 part article on PTSD and panic attacks. Part 1: 2 Ways to Deal with PTSD and Panic Attacks Part 2: When the submissive or slave has PTSD or Panic Attacks Dominant’s issues are very often swept under the carpet for various reasons. Firstly and generally, the BDSM community…
When the submissive or slave has PTSD or Panic Attacks
This is part 2 of a 2 part article on PTSD and panic attacks. Part 1: 2 Ways to Deal with PTSD and Panic Attacks Part 3: When the Dominant or Master has PTSD or Panic Attacks You might also like a previous article on this site, A Dom’s Guide to Panic Attacks and BDSM…
Can Role-Play Add to the Pleasure That Pain Brings?
What’s in your sadomasochist (S/m) repertoire? If you think of role-play as “I’m the stern headmaster and you’re the naughty student” then some people enjoy that kind of play and some people don’t find much in it. In this context we’re talking about role-play as making up fictional characters or putting ourselves as real characters…