We’re all a bunch of bad-ass mofos, no doubt, but there’s this regrettable thing that happens to some people when they discover BDSM that I thought might be helpful to talk about. When I say “regrettable”, I mean that if it happens to someone in your orbit, then one morning they’re probably going to wake…
Category: M/s & D/s
Do Slaveboys Dream of Soft Pillows?
It’s only a week into my first full-time job and i have already been through a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Every morning i’m up at 5am, drive to work at 7:30am, finish around 8pm, and then get back home for dinner around 10pm. The routine is automated and self-repetitive. i’m feeding the big corporate…
Being Old Guard Leather in a Modern World – The Constructivist Approach
We’re often prompted to label everything, even thinks that resist labeling. So, how do i categorise my own BDSM dynamic? Is it old guard or new guard? The way i see it is as a constructivist approach in practicing M/s dynamics. Does actual BDSM fantasy – like the one described by Gengoroh Tagame comics, or…
What Makes Being a Cuck Hot For Me?
I have been involved in a semi-open polyamorous BDSM relationship with two rather mature men for a few years now. Our dynamic is a version of an oldguard leather household protocol, in which i am an owned slaveboy to a kind Master who is partnered with His pup. We live separately, and in the past…
The Feelz versus the Mind
“Being a slave is the hottest thing I have ever (ever!) experienced. And it definitely FEELS totally right to me.” “But, being a slave sometimes counters my inner beliefs…” The path down the transgressive route of Domination/submission or Master/slave isn’t a smooth rainbow ride. Many of us underwent quite immense amounts of self-doubt and reflection…
I’m a slave but not submissive
If you want to see sparks fly in an online forum, just mention how you are a slave, but not submissive. Not possible, you’ll hear from many. Do you submit to your Master? Of course you do, so you must be submissive. To talk about this I think we first have to separate out personality…
Venn Diagrams for the Mathematically Minded New Dom
The English language is sometimes a blunt instrument, and that makes “dominant” a tricky word. There is “dominant” in terms of personality traits, and there is “dominant” as a chosen relationship role. Often the same person is both, but it doesn’t have to be so. Let’s say, for the sake of this article, that the…
Is It True That Power Corrupts?
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord John Dalberg-Acton A question those of us in D/s relationships would be right to ask ourselves more often than others is: Does power corrupt? “Power corrupts” is a common enough saying, and usually it is pointing to behaviour that violates norms or values. In politics…
You’re a Dominant, Not a Therapist
I think it’s time we had a few words about mentor-type Doms, but I don’t want to be too harsh. They really are the nice-guys of our communities, and as the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. You’ll know the ones I mean. They believe their role as Dominant is to guide their submissive…
D/s Contracts – How to Create One That Works
by Anton Fulmen Written contracts between dominant and submissive partners, often referred to as “slave contracts,” have a long history in the practice of dominance. Some of us find the formality, structure and the sense of commitment and authority of a written contract to be highly appealing. Some contracts are works of erotic fiction: props…