We all think we share a language when we talk about BDSM, but when you pry apart the abbreviation you’ll often hear people mumble their way through a definition of “discipline”. Bondage, D/s and SM seem straightforward, but what do we mean when we use the D-word? BEFORE WE USED “BDSM” Let’s blame it (at…
Category: Behavior Modification
If It Ain’t Fixed, Break It – To Train or Not to Train?
The temperature in a room usually drops a couple of degrees when training is mentioned. It can leave many people who identify as M/s or D/s mystified. Common reactions include “BDSM is between adults, why would any intelligent person require training?” and “the only thing he ever needed to teach me was how he takes…
Erotic Hypnosis
The mention of hypnosis in the kink community often provokes quite hysteric reactions, so perhaps for the purposes of this introduction you could think of it as a kind of mind work, similar to meditation. Its purpose is to induce a trance-like mental state. That helps individuals to relax and access a deeper level of…
Using Training to Keep BDSM Relationships Passionate
by Ayzad While physical practices allow fantasy to run wild, what really thrills BDSM connoisseurs is the opportunity to take advantage of the full-time regime to push the envelope of the most cerebral forms of domination. Few things can prove one’s ownership of a slave more than taking complete control over their life: when they…
Using the Theory of Planned Behavior for BDSM Training That Lasts
Conversations about Behavior Modification in BDSM usually focus on B.F Skinner’s theory of Operant Conditioning, which centres on positive and negative reinforcement and punishment to influence and instill new behavior. Skinner’s approach is that there are really only two ways of changing someone’s behavior — the carrot and the stick. But, there is a range…
The Difference Between Learning and Practicing
Some of this is going to seem very obvious to you, but I hope you’ll bear with me because I have a couple of opinionated insights that might surprise you. One of the things that separates Dominance/submission from more conventional relationships, I think, is that we’re on a continual learning curve. I’ve been involved in…
The Dungeon Doorway Effect
If you’ve ever walked into a room to get your keys and forgotten what you’re looking for, or found yourself staring into the fridge wondering what it was you came to the kitchen for, then you’ve experienced the Doorway Effect. It’s not just you, it happens to all of us, and there’s a straightforward enough…
Objects of Surveillance – Initiating a Virtual Leash
If You could have a real leather or metal leash locked on Your property in public, many of you would definitely do it. It is an ultimate symbol of ownership, control and power. A leash, hooked to the locked collar of your property, symbolises the ownership of that property. Perhaps on the way into the…
The Seven Elements of Submission
by Hermes Solenzol Although much has been written about the different techniques used in bondage and sadomasochism, less effort has been put into systematizing the dynamics of a Dominance/submission (D/s) relationship. D/s is much more complex than the Dominant simply ordering the submissive around. It begins when the Dominant and the submissive agree that they…
Quiz – Are You a Left or Right Brainer?
We all love fun quizzes. Find out how much of your brain works as a lefty and righty. BDSM practices include intensive psychological observation – understanding to dominate and submit. If your Dom has a strong nature that leans to the right brain, abstract arts and flexibility in everyday life may be very pleasurable. It…