Locktober is almost over, but do you know what would be really mean? Saying “perhaps we’ll keep it on for another week or two”. In a piece called Orgasm Control, Teasing and Denial Can Set Your Long Distance Relationship on Fire, I wrote about the importance of keeping the chastity experience positive and fun. Done…
Category: Kinks
Discipline – The D in BDSM We Don’t Talk About
We all think we share a language when we talk about BDSM, but when you pry apart the abbreviation you’ll often hear people mumble their way through a definition of “discipline”. Bondage, D/s and SM seem straightforward, but what do we mean when we use the D-word? BEFORE WE USED “BDSM” Let’s blame it (at…
Bondage, Hogties and Positional Asphyxia
by Jay Wiseman © 2018 Breathing takes work. More specifically, breathing takes muscular effort. In a healthy person inhalation takes muscular effort and exhalation is passive. Positional asphyxia occurs when a person’s body is put into a position where the amount of work they have to do to breathe adequately is greater than the amount…
Littles and Ageplay – Same, Same but Different
I know a lady who travelled with her partner last year to China because she really, really, really loves pandas. Panda hats, panda stuffies and I’m fairly sure panda colouring books and picture puzzles. Get her on to the topic and her eyes light up and you can see the 10 year old girl shining…
If It Ain’t Fixed, Break It – To Train or Not to Train?
The temperature in a room usually drops a couple of degrees when training is mentioned. It can leave many people who identify as M/s or D/s mystified. Common reactions include “BDSM is between adults, why would any intelligent person require training?” and “the only thing he ever needed to teach me was how he takes…
Orgasm Control, Teasing and Denial Can Set Your Long Distance Relationship On Fire
I’m going to bunch together the components of orgasm control, teasing and denial and just call it “orgasm control” for the purposes of this article. You’re probably familiar with it in a general sense. Here’s the Fetlife BDSM Glossary definition: orgasm control or denial: The practice whereby the subject is not permitted to reach sexual…
The Cuckold is Not Worthy of Your Glorious Being
Discussions on cuckolding tend to get complex very quickly, so let me start this with a couple of definitions from the BDSM Glossary Group on Fetlife: cuckold: A man with an “unfaithful” long term partner (i.e. a husband and wife where the wife has sex with other people). There are many variations on cuckolding, but…
Illustrated Guide – Measuring for a Chastity Cage
This illustration is by Pup Capri, who keeps a great chastity blog on Tumblr. Getting the right fit for your chastity cage will make or break the experience. A common mistake is to buy a chastity cage that is too large. Probably the most crucial point for comfort is the base ring, and I would…
Erotic Hypnosis
The mention of hypnosis in the kink community often provokes quite hysteric reactions, so perhaps for the purposes of this introduction you could think of it as a kind of mind work, similar to meditation. Its purpose is to induce a trance-like mental state. That helps individuals to relax and access a deeper level of…
What Makes Being a Cuck Hot For Me?
I have been involved in a semi-open polyamorous BDSM relationship with two rather mature men for a few years now. Our dynamic is a version of an oldguard leather household protocol, in which i am an owned slaveboy to a kind Master who is partnered with His pup. We live separately, and in the past…