This is the third part of a three-part post exploring a model of how BDSM roles and relationships interact. Part 1 looked at how our desires related to D/s (control) and SM (experiences) interact to form our kink identity. Part 2 explored how roles interact and why some pairings work well. This part looks at…
Category: Sadism
Illustrated Guide – 3D Model of Erotic (Kink) Space Pt2
This is the second part of a three-part post exploring a model of how BDSM roles and relationships interact. Part 1 looked at how our desires related to D/s (control) and SM (experiences) interact to form our kink identity. This part adds a 3rd dimension and looks at which roles play nicely together. You can…
Illustrated Guide – 3D Model of Erotic (Kink) Space Pt1
This is the first part of a fairly long post, but I promise if you stick with it that it’s very rewarding and you’ll find an interesting model of how BDSM roles and relationships interact. To help with loading time, we’ve divided it into three separate posts. You can find the others here:• Pt 2…
Orgasm Control, Teasing and Denial Can Set Your Long Distance Relationship On Fire
I’m going to bunch together the components of orgasm control, teasing and denial and just call it “orgasm control” for the purposes of this article. You’re probably familiar with it in a general sense. Here’s the Fetlife BDSM Glossary definition: orgasm control or denial: The practice whereby the subject is not permitted to reach sexual…
Ask a Neuroscientist: The Physiology of BDSM (Part 2/2) – How The Brain Reduces Pain
by Hermes Solenzol Everything I described in Ask a Neuroscientist: The physiology of BDSM (Part 1) – How Pain Moves to the Brain forms the so-called ascending pain pathway, which goes from the skin to the cerebral cortex. There, in the cortex, is where the pain becomes conscious, it is felt with its particular emotional…
Ask a Neuroscientist: The Physiology of BDSM (Part 1/2) – How Pain Moves to the Brain
by Hermes Solenzol We need to rescue the word “sadist”. In the vanilla world it is often taken as a synonym of “cruel”, but in the BDSM culture we know this is not true. We are not cruel, we don’t like to cause suffering, just as masochists do not like to suffer. It is only…
Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: Cruising with Class (3/6)
by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging, Symbols and Rituals Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing EXPECTATIONS OF SEX BDSM is not always about sex. BDSM is not synonymous with swinging, swapping, or Polyamory — although it’s possible for…
Is it Sadomasochism, Abuse or Self Harm?
One of the stigmas the BDSM community faces is the public confusion over where our lines of consent fall and at what point things are healthy versus unhealthy. To some extent, even as kinksters we have a hard time defining these things through our own eager urges for sadomasochistic acts. When we ourselves have difficulties…
Quiz – Check Your Narcissistic Personality Inventory
Narcissism in personality trait is generally conceived of as excessive self love. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a man who fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. The NPI was developed by Raskin and Hall (1979) for the measurement of narcissism as a personality trait in social psychological research. It is…
Tough Tits – Nipple Play for Guys
by Anon The following is more a description of a personal repertoire than it is a comprehensive list of technique. I share it with you in the belief that you may find some of these tricks appropriate to your own style. While I wrote the tips on the assumption that one person does something with…