I bought a Kindle for my brother for Christmas and I’ve been collecting some ebooks up for him. He has a particular genre of book he likes to read. You might know what I mean if I mention authors like Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Rhonda Byrne and Stephen Covey. At the risk of grossly over-generalising,…
Category: Identities
Book Review – The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance
It’s getting close to Christmas, and if you haven’t finished your shopping for the Dominant, Master, Daddy, Big or Owner in your life yet (or you identify as one of those roles and you’re looking for a good vacation read), then I want to introduce you to this book before the holidays. Add it to…
Submission Can Be Many Things
by Dark Vulcan To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object. Simone de Beauvoir Submission is a state of mind, not a status. It is a choice, and in BDSM play it is the gift the bottom brings to the scene. However the role-play…
Tough Tits – Nipple Play for Guys
by Anon The following is more a description of a personal repertoire than it is a comprehensive list of technique. I share it with you in the belief that you may find some of these tricks appropriate to your own style. While I wrote the tips on the assumption that one person does something with…
Illustrated Guide – Figging
Figging, also called Victorian Figging, is the process of carving a piece of ginger into a butt-plug. To get the most from it, run the ginger lightly over a grater after it is peeled, and you’ll find you can keep the intensity up by refreshing it with the grater every 10 minutes or so. Insertion…
Shine Your Boots, Sir?
by Vincent What better way to start a BDSM scene than with a good, old-fashioned spit shine? Ensconced in his chair, high above his boi, the top is afforded an opportunity to sit back, relax and be serviced. For the bottom, his pleasure is double, knowing that he is serving both the practical matter of…
Book Review: BDSM – A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism
A famous bon mot of “America’s sexologist” Ruth Westheimer goes: “The most important sex organ lies between your ears.” This is also where BDSM originates: from the realization that the apex of eroticism doesn’t consist in blindly following your primal instincts of domination and submission, nor in the technical skills involved in handling whips, ropes…
BDSM Traffic Light Safewords – How Do They Work (and Not Work)?
Most of us are aware of the traffic light safewords system as a safety measurement/communication during a scene. Basically, a Dominant checks in by asking “how do you feel?”, and the submissive uses “green”, “orange”, “red” to indicate the subjective intensity the submissive is experiencing. Generally, “green” means everything is good, and please proceed in…
Developing Rules for Your Relationship
If you’ve bounced in here from our previous article A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships, you might be thinking “well, he’s no fun” and it’s true, it wasn’t a particularly fun look at rule making. But, in that article I was talking about the newbie error of substituting rules for Dominance, and…
A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships
I think it’s common for Dominants/Masters who haven’t had a lot of experience with relationships to go into a new coupling issuing rules the way a parking inspector issues tickets. Way too many, way too quickly, and about all the wrong things. It’s understandable where this comes from. We quickly discover that Dominance/submission is a…