One of the great joys of the kink community is that everyone comes at things from a different angle. At a munch you might talk to someone who sees things in terms of energy and spirit, or someone who finds their joy in the sensate. One discussion you’re likely to come across is “the science…
Category: Identities
Venn Diagrams for the Mathematically Minded New Dom
The English language is sometimes a blunt instrument, and that makes “dominant” a tricky word. There is “dominant” in terms of personality traits, and there is “dominant” as a chosen relationship role. Often the same person is both, but it doesn’t have to be so. Let’s say, for the sake of this article, that the…
Quiz – Check Your Narcissistic Personality Inventory
Narcissism in personality trait is generally conceived of as excessive self love. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a man who fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. The NPI was developed by Raskin and Hall (1979) for the measurement of narcissism as a personality trait in social psychological research. It is…
Is It True That Power Corrupts?
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord John Dalberg-Acton A question those of us in D/s relationships would be right to ask ourselves more often than others is: Does power corrupt? “Power corrupts” is a common enough saying, and usually it is pointing to behaviour that violates norms or values. In politics…
Is Your Idea of Alpha Male Behaviour Wrong?
Native Americans have long recognised wolves as kindred spirits. Perhaps even more-so than apes, wolves have very similar social structure to humans. So, it’s interesting to read the observations of veteran wolf researcher Rick McIntyre in this article from the New York Times. The main characteristic of an alpha male wolf,” the veteran wolf researcher…
Financial Domination – Fetish or A Gold Digger Scam?
A lot of people find financial domination difficult to understand. Who, in their right mind, would allow someone to take control of their money? But, financial domination is not that unusual. Many subs (known in this fetish as pay pigs) are into it. And yes, they are in their right mind. It’s a blanket term…
You’re a Dominant, Not a Therapist
I think it’s time we had a few words about mentor-type Doms, but I don’t want to be too harsh. They really are the nice-guys of our communities, and as the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. You’ll know the ones I mean. They believe their role as Dominant is to guide their submissive…
How to Dehumanise and Objectify the Dominant
So, my subby dating-app-using friend, is that torso pic and list of things you want done to you not getting the results you were hoping for? Clearly your bait is irresistible, so why aren’t the alpha fish biting? Let’s take a look at a few of the common reasons. YOU SAY YOU’RE A SUB BUT…
D/s Contracts – How to Create One That Works
by Anton Fulmen Written contracts between dominant and submissive partners, often referred to as “slave contracts,” have a long history in the practice of dominance. Some of us find the formality, structure and the sense of commitment and authority of a written contract to be highly appealing. Some contracts are works of erotic fiction: props…
How Does Power Exchange Work?
The truth is rarely pure and never simple. ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest In D/s relationships, it appears that all the power resides in the Dominant, and that the submissive is powerless. But this dance of power is not what it seems. It could be said that D/s relationships contains an inner…