Everyday life can get a bit mundane and humdrum. Stuff that used to give us challenge or put a spark in our day gets repeated over and over again, and becomes less interesting. It happens in relationships too. One technique to give you a tingle throughout the day is to add a secret. A layer…
Category: Identities
Free Will and BDSM
We have free will if we have the autonomous power to make decisions about our own direction in life and act on them. Whether we really have free will or not has been debated since the great philosophers, and is still debated now. ABOUT FREE WILL Social dynamics are complex, and we are the product…
The Relationship Between BDSM and Ancient Tantra
By Dr. Michael Dean Goodman (Maheshvara) This is a fascinating topic – one that I’ve spent years exploring. I had the great good fortune to spend years living with, and to be trained and initiated by, a renowned Indian yogic/tantric master – who sent me out to share what I’d gained. I teach tantra workshops…
Safewords Aren’t About Trust or Love
We’ve talked about SSC vs RACK and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), but what is the actual function of a safeword in BDSM practices and how important is it that you have one? If we frame a discussion in the terms of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the safeword gives the ultimate power in a scene to…
Clothespins – Simple and Effective BDSM Torture Toys
by Fledermaus (aka Tony DeBlase) Sometimes it is the simplest BDSM torture toys that can be the most effective. The Sandmutopia Supply Company “research and development lab” is filled with a great variety of equipment, including literally hundreds of different kinds of clamps. But high among my list of favorites are still plain old ordinary…
BDSM and Transgression
The human mind is so complicated and yet beautiful. Good is never purely good, it is always mixed with a bit of a bad, and pleasure, identity and sexuality are not singular but wired in a million different directions. It’s part of what makes us human. For some people, the appeal BDSM sexuality and eroticism…
The Psychology of BDSM
by bruce On Saturday evening, after a workshop on the ‘Psychology of BDSM’ was over, I was walking home wondering to myself what really motivated me to pursue BDSM. While the evening started out well, and proved to be interesting by itself, I got the feeling that, by the end of the talk, few panelists…
Submissive Journals as a Tool for Developing BDSM Relationships
You don’t just switch power exchange (TPE) relationships on like a tap, you grow them. To do that, communication is key, and journals are one way to help that information flow. One of the most common reasons for subs to keep a journal is to give their Dom access to their thoughts and feelings, but…
Long Distance Relationships – Helping your Dom When He Drops
We’ve talked about Domspace and subdrop in previous posts as mostly being about endorphin floods (and mental space) during a scene, and the effects of recovering from that when the scene ends. If you’re in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR), you may have experienced a different kind of drop. For the sake of this article…
What is Subdrop?
BDSM, SUBSPACE AND SUBDROP You may have already came across the term subdrop, or you may have felt the downward swing after a session. If you haven’t yet, it doesn’t mean you’re immune. Subdrop is neurochemical (biological) as well as mental, and we are all bombarded by neurochemicals during BDSM. Reactions to this can be…