A Letter to a Younger Me – and Any Other Young Doms

by SimonShroud I have been in the D/s lifestyle for coming up on a decade. So much has changed in me during that time. I wish that I could go back ten years and sit down with my younger self and have a little chat about what it means to be a Dominant. I did…

A Personal Journey Into Subspace

by nightrunner378 “Subspace” and how we view it is subjective. I know what it feels like to me. And I do not care what others think of that. Anyone who wants to, can go ahead and argue that I am not in “true or real” subspace. But how silly is that? Does a hot dog…

Which Shade of BDSM Will Set You Free?

by Becca (shadows-dance) I think every person’s kink is unique. Now let me explain myself. 🙂 I think of “kink” as a giant box of Crayolas. We all get one the second we decide that “vanilla” isn’t what we want. Sure, there’s a white crayon in the box, but it’s not our favorite. BDSM encompasses…

Subspace and the Magical Mix of Mind and Chemistry

by Waepen Ess Subspace is experienced differently by different people and for different reasons. Headspace is one variable in the equation and a very significant part of the experience of subspace. That is the state of mind of the person experiencing subspace. THE MIND Headspace is about the belief, focus, intensity, reaction to the environment…

Quiz – Understand the Psychology of Your Sexuality

The BSPI Beiter Sexuality Preference Indicator gives you a unique insight into your own preferences. Answer a series of questions to understand: • What kind of partner orientation (Dominant, submissive etc) are you? • How are you turned on? • What gives you pleasure? • What kind of sexual encounters will you enjoy most? •…

Ditch the Ego and Learn Some BDSM Skills

by Bob Buckley In gay male BDSM, the possession of an ego on the part of the topman (or bottom) is not a bad thing in itself – depending on just what type of ego it is. Anyone who has discussed BDSM with me, at any length, almost certainly will have heard me say that…

The Sensuality of Smell

by bruce “As i moved my face to His pits, i drank in the aroma of a million pores of sweat, basking in the fragrance of my Master. Perhaps it reminded me of an absolute security years ago when i held in my father’s arms, the masculinity of him permeating my nostrils. Perhaps it was…

Illustrated Guide – Impact Sting Levels

We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery. He’s got great taste in NSFW pics too. This is a regular series of illustrated guides. You can find the others here. impact play: Striking with various objects, including the hand (spanking), riding crops, floggers and whips and canes(oh, my!) – FetLife BDSM Glossary We…

How Visualisation Can Help You Find Subspace (or Topspace)

That feeling of being “Dommy” or “subby” (or more accurately Topspace, or subspace), doesn’t always come from diving right in. It’s nearly always a process of going deeper and deeper. Entering spaces can be similar to performing on stage. You’ve often read the script many times, and finally the time comes and the spotlight falls…

Overcoming Limits of D/s in Long Distance Relationships

The languid Dom in a silky robe leans back in his comfortable chair, takes a sip from him coffee and draws on his cigarette. His naked and collared sub moves forward from his kneeling position to take the cup, then backs away and hurries to the kitchen to refresh it. What we have in that…