by Hermes Solenzol Although much has been written about the different techniques used in bondage and sadomasochism, less effort has been put into systematizing the dynamics of a Dominance/submission (D/s) relationship. D/s is much more complex than the Dominant simply ordering the submissive around. It begins when the Dominant and the submissive agree that they…
Category: Identities
Predicament Bondage
You’ll be familiar with the saying “choosing between a rock and a hard place”. Predicament bondage is an evil game that leaves the bottom with (usually) two choices, which they’re forced to choose between. Both choices have unpleasant outcomes, but there’s no way out. They have to choose option A or option B, or switch…
Panic Attacks in BDSM Scenes
by Hermes Solenzol Among the many problems that can happen in a scene, panic attacks can be a serious one, especially if the Top doesn’t know how to handle them. They are more common than you may think. Last month, during a talk I gave at Threshold (the BDSM organization of Los Angeles), I asked…
90 Creative Ideas for Erotic Humiliation & Degradation
We get a lot of queries about humiliation & degradation, specifically about practical ideas for things to do. Not every activity is suitable for every person, but here’s 90 fun ones. I didn’t write these, they’ve been passed around on the internet for a while, and before we get into the fun bit I wanted…
Being a Leatherboy is a Lifestyle and a State of Mind
by boydon freeman We all know about Masters and slaves, Tops and bottoms, Doms and subs, but what exactly is a leatherboy? All around the US, leatherboys are participating in clubs, competing in contests, and volunteering for fund-raisers. The boy presence is very much in evidence at leather events. Maybe it would be helpful to…
BDSM as an Art Form
… a BDSM scene is a work of art, not science, not technology. A work of art is something unique that is created using special skills and reflects the personality and creativity of the artist. Hermes Solenzol – BDSM is not science, it’s an art! We all like to escape our everyday life once in awhile….
Illustrated Guide – Nipple Toys
We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery, one of the many sites that Tumblr killed in their purge. This is a regular series of illustrated guides. You can find the others here. nipple clamps: Any clamp or clamp-like device designed to compress the subject’s nipples. May include a mechanism for adjusting or…
BDSM is not science, it’s an art!
by Hermes Solenzol Borrowing from the name of a popular website, I fucking love science! I fell in love with science when I was a pre-teen and have studied it ever since. These days I make a living doing scientific research on the physiology of pain, which is kind of convenient for a sadomasochist. I…
5 Steps for Creating Healthy Kinky Relationships
It’s a bit of a “just for fun” day today (because Watts The Safeword is always fun), but there’s some solid wisdom in this great video about starting and continuing healthy kinky relationships: So, what were the 5 steps for creating a healthy kinky relationships from Amp and Mr Kristofer? Be Patient Be Open and…
A (Very) Brief History of Modern BDSM Porn in the US
Porn is rich in history and all kinds of things for discussion, but today I just wanted to do a quick rollercoaster-ride through BDSM in America, where it’s come from and why it looks the way it does. BDSM images date back much further than modern history, in fact it can be traced back for…