The languid Dom in a silky robe leans back in his comfortable chair, takes a sip from him coffee and draws on his cigarette. His naked and collared sub moves forward from his kneeling position to take the cup, then backs away and hurries to the kitchen to refresh it. What we have in that…
Category: Dominance
The Work of Ownership: When Fantasy Meets Reality
Come here. Kneel down. Do as you’re told. Three simple commands. At first glance, they seem almost too simple, too easy, and too basic to have any meaning. Where is the strict command? Where is the humiliation? Where is the slapping around, smashing his face into the carpet, and verbally abusing the piss out of…
Illustrated Guide – Types of Collars
We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery, one of the great sites that Tumblr killed in its purge. This is the first in a series of illustrated guides. If you’d like to follow them, then later ones will be here. Collar: Any symbol used to represent that a submissive or slave is…
Tips For Behavior Modification, Conditioning and Development
B.F. Skinner, known as the “Father of Behaviorism” developed a theory of operant conditioning, which states that all behavior is governed by reinforcing and punishing stimuli. Behavior modification uses a scheduled approach that rewards desired behavior and punishes undesirable behavior. Many people get offended if you mention child psychology (or heaven forbid, dog training) in…
Pleasure and Pain: An Ode to Spankings
by Madame Beatrice When I think of spankings, I think of two things: transference and release. A spanking isn’t simply the sum of swats on a submissive’s beautifully curved ass; it’s a transfer of energy from one mind’s body into the flesh of another mind and body. Each time contact is made between an open…
Book Review: Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook by Michael Makai
Available as ebook on Smashwords or paperback on Amazon There is a best selling 2007 M/s book that spends an entire chapter talking about how the author likes his submissives to arrange his dinner parties. Thankfully, this is absolutely nothing like that book. From the get-go, Michael Makai examines the question of whether Dominance &…
Erotic Humiliation and Degradation
Technically speaking, erotic humiliation and erotic degradation are not quite the same thing, though they are often spoken about interchangably or lumped together as “humilation and degradation”. Humiliation is a mental state, and what humiliates one person may not humiliate another. For example, telling a man he has a small penis may be humiliating, if…
What is Sensual Domination?
There are a lot of BDSM sub-communities that use the Domly Dom Dom as their archetype. Internal Enslavement, the B.E.S.T Training group, and many Master and Slave groups on FetLife, are examples. The Dom is a controller, an authority figure and a leather-clad alpha. There’s nothing wrong with that. Those Doms certainly exist in abundance….
Safewords Aren’t About Trust or Love
We’ve talked about SSC vs RACK and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), but what is the actual function of a safeword in BDSM practices and how important is it that you have one? If we frame a discussion in the terms of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the safeword gives the ultimate power in a scene to…
Long Distance Relationships – Helping your Dom When He Drops
We’ve talked about Domspace and subdrop in previous posts as mostly being about endorphin floods (and mental space) during a scene, and the effects of recovering from that when the scene ends. If you’re in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR), you may have experienced a different kind of drop. For the sake of this article…