So, you’ve got this title, “Master”. What are the origins? How did it come to be part of the BDSM language? “Master” might refer to: someone with a high level of skill in something (a Master Swordsman or Master Electrician, for example). To be recognised as this type of Master by your community you may…
Category: Concepts
The Error of Silence
by Isaac Cross For those of us to the left of the slash (dominant, top, etc), we often make decisions for the good of our partners without telling them. Even with the best of intentions, these decisions often have the opposite effect if we fail to communicate. I recently had arranged for a particularly brutal…
Memories and Time
“Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene I hardly paid it any attention. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that 18 years later I would recall it in such detail.” “It takes time, though, for Naoko’s face to appear….
Safely Separating Our Online Kink Spaces from Our Vanilla Spaces
WHY DO WE NEED SAFETY PROTOCOLS ONLINE? Our lives have become highly integrated with the online space of the internet and social media. For most people, a significant percentage of interpersonal social activities now happen online. Perhaps in the real world we could visit and leave a dungeon or play party without leaving too much…
When a slave Sets a Scene for Master
As a relationship matures, that initial thrill can fade. The Dominant/submissive dynamic is many things, and it’s not always eros in the driver’s seat. What tools are in that black box of BDSM that spark your magic as a kinky individual? All relationships have some form of maintenance, to keep the flame burning. Sometimes we…
The 5 Minute Guide to the History and Development of BDSM
The emergence of BDSM subculture, in the form that we’re familiar with today, can be traced back to 1940s’ gay leather communities, which appeared in the United States after World War II. From the 1940s to 1970s, leather bars and bikers’ clubs began to appear in multiple cities in the US, most obviously in Los…
A Top’s Guide to Being in the Bootblacking Chair
Top or bottom, we don’t always instinctively get it right first time, and we’ve all got incidents in our past that were “learning moments”. I’d like to tell you one of mine. I was at a fetish bar in Philadelphia some years ago when I had my first encounter with a bootblack. yangpup was with…
BDSM Might Not Be Therapy, But It Can Help
Can BDSM be a form of therapy? Is it therapeutic? What do we actually mean when we use the words “therapy” and “therapeutic”? Therapy means different things to different people. For individuals dealing with mental illness, therapy can be akin to physiotherapy, except happening in the mind. We need to stretch the mind in a correct…
How to Let Go and Really Surrender to Submission in BDSM
By Andrew Harwin Don’t dream it, be it. Dr Frank-n-furter (Rocky Horror Picture Show) When we give ourselves over to something or someone, and we do it with 100% of our attention and intention, the result of that surrender is a complete liberation. You don’t just think about what you’re feeling, you are right there…
BDSM Culture and Gender Identity
How do gender identity and BDSM collide, and does one influence the other? Obviously, we know that all dominants are not male and all submissives are not female, but could our BDSM roles influence our gender identity, and could our gender roles influence our BDSM identity? It’s important before we start thinking about it to…