I think it’s time we had a few words about mentor-type Doms, but I don’t want to be too harsh. They really are the nice-guys of our communities, and as the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. You’ll know the ones I mean. They believe their role as Dominant is to guide their submissive…
Category: Concepts
How to Dehumanise and Objectify the Dominant
So, my subby dating-app-using friend, is that torso pic and list of things you want done to you not getting the results you were hoping for? Clearly your bait is irresistible, so why aren’t the alpha fish biting? Let’s take a look at a few of the common reasons. YOU SAY YOU’RE A SUB BUT…
D/s Contracts – How to Create One That Works
by Anton Fulmen Written contracts between dominant and submissive partners, often referred to as “slave contracts,” have a long history in the practice of dominance. Some of us find the formality, structure and the sense of commitment and authority of a written contract to be highly appealing. Some contracts are works of erotic fiction: props…
Finding a Path to Happiness in Kink
I bought a Kindle for my brother for Christmas and I’ve been collecting some ebooks up for him. He has a particular genre of book he likes to read. You might know what I mean if I mention authors like Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Rhonda Byrne and Stephen Covey. At the risk of grossly over-generalising,…
Kinky Play Is Its Own Purpose
If we pick apart the initials BDSM there are all kinds of things inside. We use it as a broad umbrella, covering everything from rope bondage to piercing, humiliation, watersports, latex love, service slavery and so much more. It’s all of our erotic desires outside of the missionary position rolled into one neat abbreviation. It’s…
Using Training to Keep BDSM Relationships Passionate
by Ayzad While physical practices allow fantasy to run wild, what really thrills BDSM connoisseurs is the opportunity to take advantage of the full-time regime to push the envelope of the most cerebral forms of domination. Few things can prove one’s ownership of a slave more than taking complete control over their life: when they…
Communication and the Delicate Balance Between Openness and Mystery
In my early 20s I stuffed my belongings into a backpack, got on a plane and took off for adventure. One of the first things I learned along the way was that “culture” meant much more than what language you spoke. There are cultural differences that we don’t recognise at all until we are in…
Illustrated Guide – 10 Golden Rules of Negotiation
Negotiation forms the basic core of consensual BDSM practices. In fact, negotiation and consent are the primary way BDSM is distinguished from abuse. Unfortunately, I don’t know where these originally came from, but I’ve decided to repost them because I think they’re important. I think we’re often in danger of feeling like we have to…
BDSM Traffic Light Safewords – How Do They Work (and Not Work)?
Most of us are aware of the traffic light safewords system as a safety measurement/communication during a scene. Basically, a Dominant checks in by asking “how do you feel?”, and the submissive uses “green”, “orange”, “red” to indicate the subjective intensity the submissive is experiencing. Generally, “green” means everything is good, and please proceed in…
Developing Rules for Your Relationship
If you’ve bounced in here from our previous article A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships, you might be thinking “well, he’s no fun” and it’s true, it wasn’t a particularly fun look at rule making. But, in that article I was talking about the newbie error of substituting rules for Dominance, and…