If you’re on online cruising and dating sites, like Collarspace, Tinder and Recon, you’d be forgiven for thinking that BDSM is just the kinky spice that’s sprinkled on top of sex. Whether you’re Top or bottom, if you stray from the prescribed script about being a nympho/stud with a “do anything” attitude, you can find…
Category: Concepts
BDSM and the Pursuit of Happiness
Even though a recent Guardian article, Never tried BDSM? Go on, it’s good for you, points to studies that suggest that those of us expressing ourselves sexually may be happier than the average, there are a lot of people who are “under happy”. I’m using the term “under happy”, rather than “unhappy”, because I think…
What is Sensual Domination?
There are a lot of BDSM sub-communities that use the Domly Dom Dom as their archetype. Internal Enslavement, the B.E.S.T Training group, and many Master and Slave groups on FetLife, are examples. The Dom is a controller, an authority figure and a leather-clad alpha. There’s nothing wrong with that. Those Doms certainly exist in abundance….
11 Tips for BDSM Negotiation with an Introvert
Introverts exhibit a very different set of social behaviours, and sometimes it’s hard for non-introverts to understand their different wiring. But please don’t be put off! When you bond with an introvert you invite someone into your life who likes quality rather than quantity, who will probably want to know you better (and deeper) than…
Leather Behaviour
By George Whiting “The term ‘Leather’ embraces a whole lot of fetishes, fantasies and lifestyles; leather, rubber, boots, uniforms, BDSM etc. As we talk about leather, we remember that it is an inclusive term and that, in its diversity, there is a common thread. Simply explained, that common factor lies in the realization of personal…
Quiz – What is Your Safeword?
Traffic lights are so pedestrian. your safeword can be just as individual as you are, and we have just the random generator for you. Try this fun picture match to see what your safeword could be. Take the quiz – What Should Your Safeword Be? OTHER FUN BDSM QUIZZES • Understand the Psychology of Your…
Are BDSM slaves Individuals, or Just Robots to Serve?
There is a general concept of BDSM slaves as someone who gives up their pride and identity, and focuses on their Master. The purpose of the slave, in this concept, is to serve. This is the type of slave referred to in the principles of Internal Enslavement. But actually, in the BDSM community, there is…
Negotiating Away the Stupidity
by y.t. One of the mental characteristics in a BDSM relationship i thought i should touch on is the subject of stupidity. Of course, “stupidity” is weighty, in vocations, and i was reluctant to jump into the fray without a life preserver. But since we’re on the subject, i want to put in my “two…
Safewords Aren’t About Trust or Love
We’ve talked about SSC vs RACK and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), but what is the actual function of a safeword in BDSM practices and how important is it that you have one? If we frame a discussion in the terms of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the safeword gives the ultimate power in a scene to…
Quiz – What Kind of Sexual Deviant Are You?
We like to break from the serious stuff for a quiz now and again, but it’s been a while since we posted one. Here’s one you might like, and the cool thing is that it gives you a URL to use in your profiles so that others can see your results. There are 8 pages…