Pain is a huge part of BDSM. We seem to talk about it all the time. But, language being the blunt instrument that it is, do we really understand each other when we say things like “hit me” or “i love pain”? For some people, pain directly equates to “abuse” or “self harm”, and there…
Category: Concepts
The Complex Relationship Between BDSM and Mental Illness
The relationship between BDSM and mental health is complex, and can be confusing. Take, for example, depression. For those in the BDSM community who suffer from depression, is there any relationship? And if there is, was there an attraction to BDSM because of (diagnosed or undiagnosed) depression? Does the BDSM make it better or worse?…
Common Sense is Not So Common (don’t be a dick!)
by MutualRespect Voltaire was a talented French writer, playwright, philosopher and historian from the 17th century. He was an outspoken critic of the French aristocracy, religious dogma and corrupt institutions. He was banished from France after a fall out with a minor aristocrat and was exiled to the United Kingdom for three years during the…
The Consent in SSC and RACK means DBADA
Consent seems to be a trending topic in the BDSM community at the moment. Perhaps it was the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, which inserts negotiations over a formal written contract that are not in the book, or perhaps it’s some of the trainwreck consent cases that have been in the spotlight recently….
Book Review: Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook by Michael Makai
Available as ebook on Smashwords or paperback on Amazon There is a best selling 2007 M/s book that spends an entire chapter talking about how the author likes his submissives to arrange his dinner parties. Thankfully, this is absolutely nothing like that book. From the get-go, Michael Makai examines the question of whether Dominance &…
Dungeon Monitor Kits – The DM’s Tool Bag
by DR Webster The DM Kit is a Dungeon Monitor’s tool bag. It’s a basic first aid and rescue kit. Even if a venue or organizer provides first aid supplies and other equipment, having the things you need with you means you don’t have to find the supplies you need before you deal with whatever…
The No Limits Slave
You’ll often hear people talking with derision about “no limits slaves”. How can they possibly exist? Everyone has limits. Yet, i believe they can and do exist. We read so many love stories where one character is willing to die for the other. It exists in fiction because it is part of our human psyche….
Exploring BDSM with Mental Health Issues
The term “mental illness” is loaded with negative connotations, often debatable and very tricky to define. What is “mentally ill” and what is “having a different mentality that sits outside the norm”? i’ve used “mental health issues” in the title of this article, but it doesn’t have to be “issues” in a negative sense. Being…
The Sacredness of BDSM
Sacred places are awe-inspiring; they are serene environments that encourage contemplation and meditation; and they create an attitude of respect Daniel Levi and Sara Kocher In BDSM, we experience sacred moments not between the individual and God, but between individuals. It’s nothing abstract or intangible. It’s the foot of your Master and the forehead of…
Erotic Humiliation and Degradation
Technically speaking, erotic humiliation and erotic degradation are not quite the same thing, though they are often spoken about interchangably or lumped together as “humilation and degradation”. Humiliation is a mental state, and what humiliates one person may not humiliate another. For example, telling a man he has a small penis may be humiliating, if…