Decisions, decisions. Every day we make thousands of them, from the small stuff like “coffee or tea?” to the big stuff like career, finance, health and relationships. There’s a fantasy that some subs and slaves who are just starting out have, that they will meet a wise, intelligent and caring Dom who will make all…
Category: Concepts
Your Kink is OK in DSM-5
The American Psychiatric Association depathologized sadism, masochism, cross-dressing and fetishes in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) in 2013. The DSM-5 defines paraphilia as “any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling.” A paraphilic disorder is a “paraphilia that is currently causing…
Consent and BDSM: The State of the Law in the US
BDSM activity, even where clearly consensual, can be and frequently is prosecuted under state criminal laws dealing with assault, aggravated assault, sexual assault or sexual abuse. Such criminal prosecution can arise in various circumstances, including: • The BDSM “scene” turns out to be more intense or painful or harmful than the submissive participant anticipated, and…
A Letter to a Younger Me – and Any Other Young Doms
by SimonShroud I have been in the D/s lifestyle for coming up on a decade. So much has changed in me during that time. I wish that I could go back ten years and sit down with my younger self and have a little chat about what it means to be a Dominant. I did…
Anal Fisting – The Body-Mind Connection
by Larry R. Shockey This is part 3 of a 4-part guide to anal fisting by Larry Shockey, organizer of Hell Hole San Francisco and Fist Fest. • Part 1 – Learning the Basics • Part 2 – Preparing for Play (Advice for Fisting Tops and bottoms) • Part 4 – Keeping It Safe, Clean…
A Personal Journey Into Subspace
by nightrunner378 “Subspace” and how we view it is subjective. I know what it feels like to me. And I do not care what others think of that. Anyone who wants to, can go ahead and argue that I am not in “true or real” subspace. But how silly is that? Does a hot dog…
Which Shade of BDSM Will Set You Free?
by Becca (shadows-dance) I think every person’s kink is unique. Now let me explain myself. 🙂 I think of “kink” as a giant box of Crayolas. We all get one the second we decide that “vanilla” isn’t what we want. Sure, there’s a white crayon in the box, but it’s not our favorite. BDSM encompasses…
Quiz – Understand the Psychology of Your Sexuality
The BSPI Beiter Sexuality Preference Indicator gives you a unique insight into your own preferences. Answer a series of questions to understand: • What kind of partner orientation (Dominant, submissive etc) are you? • How are you turned on? • What gives you pleasure? • What kind of sexual encounters will you enjoy most? •…
Ditch the Ego and Learn Some BDSM Skills
by Bob Buckley In gay male BDSM, the possession of an ego on the part of the topman (or bottom) is not a bad thing in itself – depending on just what type of ego it is. Anyone who has discussed BDSM with me, at any length, almost certainly will have heard me say that…
The Sensuality of Smell
by bruce “As i moved my face to His pits, i drank in the aroma of a million pores of sweat, basking in the fragrance of my Master. Perhaps it reminded me of an absolute security years ago when i held in my father’s arms, the masculinity of him permeating my nostrils. Perhaps it was…