Online sexting is a thing. We all have smartphones, laptops and gadgets that allow us to venture out into the cyber meat-market. In Malaysia and Singapore (and possibly your country too) it’s difficult to find (kink) social networks outside of the internet. Especially when the universal adage YKINMY (your kink is not my kink) is…
Category: Negotiation
Ageing Bottoms and the Gay BDSM Community
by Bob Buckley It is (or can be) very nice to have friends. But, sometimes, they do make simple suggestions. This paper came about from the simple suggestion of Daddy Bob (Los Angeles) that I write about the ageing bottom, and from the equally simple suggestion of Doc (Dallas) that I write about the ageing…
Are Sadists and Masochists Sociopaths?
Are kinksters, particularly hardcore kinksters involved in sadomasochism, or intense power play, acting out sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies? Many people, even professional therapists, believe so. “Psychopathy (/saɪˈkɒpəθi/; also known as – though sometimes distinguished from – sociopathy /ˈsoʊsiəˌpæθi/) is traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, diminished empathy and remorse, and…
Meeting New BDSM Partners – Safety For Newbies and Beyond
by Sir Noble Savage EMPOWERMENT Whether you are a Top or bottom, you need to value yourself. Always remember that, and be able to say to yourself – I am a worthwhile person I deserve to be treated with respect I can decide for myself what is best for me I am not alone. I…
Is Your Potential slave a Fraud?
by ijm “Wanted – strict Master to use & abuse this bootlicking, pain-craving pigslut as Your 24/7 slave. No limits or safe words. Make me Your pierced and tattooed boy.” Over the past few years i’ve run across many different advertisements posted by “eager to please” slaves on the Internet only to find that many…
What Type of BDSM Top or Bottom Are You?
No matter how much some of us might protest that we “don’t want to be labeled or put in a box”, the roles we occupy in BDSM form an essential part of our negotiation. It is not simply about playing a part in a fantasy, though that can be an important element in the turn-on….
BDSM Slavery Contracts, Fetish Questionnaires and Measurement Charts
If you caste your eyes below to the footer, you’ll see we’ve added some free downloadable documents you might find useful. Disclaimer – we take no responsibility for the contents (especially the consensual s/M contracts). We didn’t write any of these, they’re old documents of unknown origin. Most are in .doc format so you can…
A Field Guide To “Creepy Dom”
by Asher Bauer Introduction This is a public service announcement for the BDSM and kink community. It is especially directed at anyone relatively new, and extra especially at anyone who ever bottoms. For the benefit of everyone’s mental health and safety, I would like to discuss the widespread phenomenon known as Creepy Dom. Creepy Dom…
Same But Different – SSC versus RACK in BDSM
THE BEAUTY OF RISK AWARE CONSENSUAL KINK AND THE SAFE EXPERIMENT OF SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL Since 1983, SSC or Safe Sane Consensual has been the mantra of the BDSM community. On any online forum, the mere mention of any activity that involved suspending the safeword or roleplaying a non-consensual scene (rape and interrogation fantasies…
A Dom’s Guide to Panic Attacks and BDSM (by a humble hungry sub)
WHAT IS PANIC ATTACK? The non-profit resource site HelpGuide.org offers this definition: “A panic attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming anxiety and fear. Your heart pounds and you can’t breathe. You may even feel like you’re dying or going crazy. Left untreated, panic attacks can lead to panic disorder and other problems. They may…