There are a lot of BDSM sub-communities that use the Domly Dom Dom as their archetype. Internal Enslavement, the B.E.S.T Training group, and many Master and Slave groups on FetLife, are examples. The Dom is a controller, an authority figure and a leather-clad alpha. There’s nothing wrong with that. Those Doms certainly exist in abundance….
Category: Negotiation
11 Tips for BDSM Negotiation with an Introvert
Introverts exhibit a very different set of social behaviours, and sometimes it’s hard for non-introverts to understand their different wiring. But please don’t be put off! When you bond with an introvert you invite someone into your life who likes quality rather than quantity, who will probably want to know you better (and deeper) than…
Leather Behaviour
By George Whiting “The term ‘Leather’ embraces a whole lot of fetishes, fantasies and lifestyles; leather, rubber, boots, uniforms, BDSM etc. As we talk about leather, we remember that it is an inclusive term and that, in its diversity, there is a common thread. Simply explained, that common factor lies in the realization of personal…
Quiz – What is Your Safeword?
Traffic lights are so pedestrian. your safeword can be just as individual as you are, and we have just the random generator for you. Try this fun picture match to see what your safeword could be. Take the quiz – What Should Your Safeword Be? OTHER FUN BDSM QUIZZES • Understand the Psychology of Your…
Are BDSM slaves Individuals, or Just Robots to Serve?
There is a general concept of BDSM slaves as someone who gives up their pride and identity, and focuses on their Master. The purpose of the slave, in this concept, is to serve. This is the type of slave referred to in the principles of Internal Enslavement. But actually, in the BDSM community, there is…
Negotiating Away the Stupidity
by y.t. One of the mental characteristics in a BDSM relationship i thought i should touch on is the subject of stupidity. Of course, “stupidity” is weighty, in vocations, and i was reluctant to jump into the fray without a life preserver. But since we’re on the subject, i want to put in my “two…
Safewords Aren’t About Trust or Love
We’ve talked about SSC vs RACK and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), but what is the actual function of a safeword in BDSM practices and how important is it that you have one? If we frame a discussion in the terms of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the safeword gives the ultimate power in a scene to…
What is Informed Consent?
Consent is not as straightforward as it first seems. It’s not black and white. At it’s clearest and simplest level, it is communicated permission. It is a declaration of allowance within agreed boundaries. I love this YouTube video explanation of what consent is (and isn’t): YouTube: CampusClarity – What is Consent? But, consent it is…
Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)
The two basic negotiation concepts used in the BDSM community are SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). An extension of these concepts is consensual non-consent. CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENSUALITY A mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and to common sense, consent to activities…
Submissive Journals as a Tool for Developing BDSM Relationships
You don’t just switch power exchange (TPE) relationships on like a tap, you grow them. To do that, communication is key, and journals are one way to help that information flow. One of the most common reasons for subs to keep a journal is to give their Dom access to their thoughts and feelings, but…