Tantra Lover, Chameleon, Bunny, Explorer, Adventurer or Romantic? This 17 question kink-friendly quiz will sort you into one of six categories based on your sex language. The brief results at the end probably won’t see you suddenly having incredible sex, but the questions are thought-provoking and fun. If your partner takes the test too then,…
Category: Negotiation
Create a Visual Fetish Checklist with Kinkomatic
In the getting-to-know you stages, a fetish checklist can be a great tool to communicate with a partner. It can also spark some interesting (and perhaps productive) conversation even if a relationship is not new. Kinkomatic is an online tool that leaves you with a nice visual representation of your ratings and a unique URL…
Pushing Boundaries Without Breaking Limits
I’ve taken a little snip from a thread on Fetlife that encapsulates a common viewpoint of Domination that I think contains both myth and jargon: … its important to realize that we also have to push boundaries to help a sub grow. Otherwise you stay in your little box and never get outside it. That…
Illustrated Guide – Hanky Codes (2)
This gorgeous poster of the Gay Leatherman’s Hanky Codes was months of research and work by Ben Bear, and he has released it as a free high-res download in two formats (a 2′ x 3′ poster or as 5 tabloid sized panels) on his Ace of Spades PDX website. This month’s poster coincides with Oregon…
Giving Your Partner Permission to be Dominant
There is a certain camp of people who will tell you that Dominance is an all-natural product (like organic milk), but I don’t believe that’s true. There might be certain underlying personality traits that make it easier or harder, but I think Dominance (as a role in D/s) is largely learned. There are some great…
Hurt Me Plenty – A Gameplay Review
If you are someone who practices SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), do you sometimes have a hard time explaining what consent means to you? Here’s a game that not only drills that, but is fun to play too. Robert Yang, both an Artist and indie game designer has created a VR game in simulation of…
Can’t versus Won’t in Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)
The topic of Consensual Non-Consent never fails to get people banging heads with each other. Firstly, you have the “relationship” camp and the “session” camp firing arrows at each other. The term “CNC” is used by some to mean an interaction where the agreed boundaries are not negotiated, or are negotiated to be left entirely…
Is it Topping from the Bottom?
No-one is going to deny that Tops need feedback in a scene. This commonly includes the bottom communicating needs, discomfort and safety concerns. or communicating and processing their feelings in aftercare. At the same time, a basic working definition of topping from the bottom might be: “an attempt by the bottom to steer play or…
Venn Diagrams for the Mathematically Minded New Dom
The English language is sometimes a blunt instrument, and that makes “dominant” a tricky word. There is “dominant” in terms of personality traits, and there is “dominant” as a chosen relationship role. Often the same person is both, but it doesn’t have to be so. Let’s say, for the sake of this article, that the…
How to Dehumanise and Objectify the Dominant
So, my subby dating-app-using friend, is that torso pic and list of things you want done to you not getting the results you were hoping for? Clearly your bait is irresistible, so why aren’t the alpha fish biting? Let’s take a look at a few of the common reasons. YOU SAY YOU’RE A SUB BUT…