by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 3: Cruising with Class Part 4: Play Parties Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing FLAGGING NOT FLOGGING Flagging refers to non-verbal signals that serve as very specific cues in the scene. Most of them originated from the Gay…
Category: Lifestyle/Community
Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: Play Parties (4/6)
by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 3: Cruising with Class Part 5: Flagging, Symbols and Rituals Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing THREE TYPES OF PARTIES Play parties — or dungeon parties — are parties where people in the Leather and BDSM scene can…
Cruising for a Bruising – The Savage World of BDSM Dating Apps
I’ve recently dangled my feet (again) in murky waters of the gay kink dating app Recon. With a leatherpup and a slaveboy of my own, my dance-card is full, so I’m not there cruising for action. It’s more like ethnographic research. If my regular hangouts on FetLife are like kink university halls, Recon is more…
Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: Cruising with Class (3/6)
by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging, Symbols and Rituals Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing EXPECTATIONS OF SEX BDSM is not always about sex. BDSM is not synonymous with swinging, swapping, or Polyamory — although it’s possible for…
Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: More Specific Guidelines (2/6)
by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 3: Cruising with Class Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging, Symbols and Rituals Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing SOCIALIZING & NETWORKING Socializing takes place at munches, general meetings, runs, and parties. Munches are semi-public gatherings of BDSM enthusiasts for the purpose…
Illustrated Guide – Hanky Codes (2)
This gorgeous poster of the Gay Leatherman’s Hanky Codes was months of research and work by Ben Bear, and he has released it as a free high-res download in two formats (a 2′ x 3′ poster or as 5 tabloid sized panels) on his Ace of Spades PDX website. This month’s poster coincides with Oregon…
Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: General Principles (1/6)
by Ambrosio This is the first part of a 6 part series originally published as Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol on Ambrosio’s BDSM Site. See the end of this article for more details. Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 3: Cruising with Class Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging,…
YKINMKBYKIOK – Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink is OK
YKINMKBYKIOK is such a mouthful of an initialism that it’s commonly shortened to YKIOK (or sometimes YKINMK). It represents “your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK”. It isn’t a foreign concept outside of kink circles. You’ll have heard it as “horses for courses”, “whatever floats your boat”, “different strokes for different…
Abducted Scholar Zhang Ying Ying’s Case Brings Out Fetlife and BDSM Shaming in Media
Recently, Fetlife has come under the mainstream media spotlight due to an abduction case involving a missing graduate student from University of Illinois. The missing individual, Zhang Ying Ying, was a member of the Fetlife discussion group “Abduction 101”, and multiple surveillance footages have captured the evidence of Zhang being kidnapped by PhD Scholar Brendt…
Not Top nor Bottom? Non-binary Sexuality is More Than Just Switching
On dating apps and websites it starts when you fill out your profile. Other times it’s the first point to nail in negotiation. And, for some of us it can be quite hard to answer. “Are you top or bottom?” One complicating (or complicated!) thing for me is that I come from a Southeast Asian…