Whatever it is, coronavirus has made the mighty kneel and brought the world to a halt like nothing else could. Our minds are still racing back and forth, longing for a return to “normality”, trying to stitch our future to our past and refusing to acknowledge the rupture. But the rupture exists. And in the…
Category: Lifestyle/Community
Gods and Monster (Dicks)
I was in Berlin for Folsom Europe a couple of weeks ago, and one of the side events was an exhibition of artwork by contemporary artists inspired by Tom of Finland (along with several pieces of ToF work). Folsom Europe is, in itself, a living, breathing performance of Tom of Finland influences. Stand on any…
The Empowerment of a Leather Event
It has been about a week since i returned from Berlin, reignited from attending Folsom Europe. Day-to-day in my life (in Malaysia) i have an intricate set of inner coping mechanisms which help me navigate the oppressive regime and social attitudes in my country. my soul and consciousness has been imprisoned by Malaysia’s indoctrination, but…
Fun, and the Importance of Human Connection
I’ve been having a little kink social media fatigue lately (and by that, I mean Fetlife). Nothing that a block of dark chocolate and some sunshine won’t cure. What has been making me tired is the stress emanating from a lot of people new to kink, and the stress I feel reflected back to them…
Illustrated Guide – Pride Flags
It’s Pride Month in the US. A little known fact… the Rainbow Pride Flag designed by Gilbert Baker debuted in 1978 with 8 colours and each colour had a meaning. The most popular version now has 6 colours (as shown in the header image here). Wikipedia has a good summary of the history. Our understanding…
Clash of the Titans: Kinky versus Vanilla
At what point does passion-red lacey lingerie become kinky? Is it just inherent in the item? Or, maybe when it’s crotchless and worn with stilettos? How about when it’s crotchless and worn with stilettos by a man? Maybe none of those things is kinky to you. We all have a different idea of what “kinky”…
Is It Time To Kill the Facebook Profile for Your Kink Persona?
It’s the norm in the kink community to maintain an identity specifically for “the scene”. That’s usually a scene name, used on social media and at events, and perhaps a separate email account. For many of us, Fetlife is the only source of “kinky social media” that we need, but quite a lot of people…
The Four Stages to Exploring Your Fantasy
No-one wakes up one morning and says “check it out, I’m into kink now”. We come to all things through a process. A desire takes root, and we prod at it and probe it to see whether it will stick or is just a passing fancy, and how important it is to us. Most of…
Quiz: How Kinky is Your Ideal BDSM Room?
It’s the silly season, so no apologies for the lameness of this work-distraction. Festive planning would be so much easier if it was multiple-choice like this quiz. Choose the elements that make up your fantasy BDSM room and let Buzzfeed tell you where you rate on the naughty scale. Design Your Own BDSM Sex Room…
Moving Beyond Maslow’s View of D/s and M/s Relationships
Most religions and moral systems see one of the great human problems as selfishness. A common and unifying philosophy is that personal development is a transcendence from the self to a larger purpose. Around the middle of last century, Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers and others aimed to liberate and enlarge the self. This was the…