The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) has just released a short position statement that says: It is the position of AASECT that linking problems related to sexual urges, thoughts or behaviors to a porn/sexual addiction process cannot be advanced by AASECT as a standard of practice for sexuality education delivery, counseling…
Category: Concepts
Reimagining Our Relationships in a Time of Crisis
Whatever it is, coronavirus has made the mighty kneel and brought the world to a halt like nothing else could. Our minds are still racing back and forth, longing for a return to “normality”, trying to stitch our future to our past and refusing to acknowledge the rupture. But the rupture exists. And in the…
Quiz – Discover Your Sex Language
Tantra Lover, Chameleon, Bunny, Explorer, Adventurer or Romantic? This 17 question kink-friendly quiz will sort you into one of six categories based on your sex language. The brief results at the end probably won’t see you suddenly having incredible sex, but the questions are thought-provoking and fun. If your partner takes the test too then,…
Create a Visual Fetish Checklist with Kinkomatic
In the getting-to-know you stages, a fetish checklist can be a great tool to communicate with a partner. It can also spark some interesting (and perhaps productive) conversation even if a relationship is not new. Kinkomatic is an online tool that leaves you with a nice visual representation of your ratings and a unique URL…
Gods and Monster (Dicks)
I was in Berlin for Folsom Europe a couple of weeks ago, and one of the side events was an exhibition of artwork by contemporary artists inspired by Tom of Finland (along with several pieces of ToF work). Folsom Europe is, in itself, a living, breathing performance of Tom of Finland influences. Stand on any…
The Empowerment of a Leather Event
It has been about a week since i returned from Berlin, reignited from attending Folsom Europe. Day-to-day in my life (in Malaysia) i have an intricate set of inner coping mechanisms which help me navigate the oppressive regime and social attitudes in my country. my soul and consciousness has been imprisoned by Malaysia’s indoctrination, but…
How to Build Up a Scene
There are as many different ways to do kink as there are people, but I want to discuss one particular type that is common enough to come up in discussion quite a lot — “a scene”. Specifically, a scene that you might do at home (which often has different characteristics to one in a public…
Fun, and the Importance of Human Connection
I’ve been having a little kink social media fatigue lately (and by that, I mean Fetlife). Nothing that a block of dark chocolate and some sunshine won’t cure. What has been making me tired is the stress emanating from a lot of people new to kink, and the stress I feel reflected back to them…
Illustrated Guide – Pride Flags
It’s Pride Month in the US. A little known fact… the Rainbow Pride Flag designed by Gilbert Baker debuted in 1978 with 8 colours and each colour had a meaning. The most popular version now has 6 colours (as shown in the header image here). Wikipedia has a good summary of the history. Our understanding…
Clash of the Titans: Kinky versus Vanilla
At what point does passion-red lacey lingerie become kinky? Is it just inherent in the item? Or, maybe when it’s crotchless and worn with stilettos? How about when it’s crotchless and worn with stilettos by a man? Maybe none of those things is kinky to you. We all have a different idea of what “kinky”…