The topic of Consensual Non-Consent never fails to get people banging heads with each other. Firstly, you have the “relationship” camp and the “session” camp firing arrows at each other. The term “CNC” is used by some to mean an interaction where the agreed boundaries are not negotiated, or are negotiated to be left entirely…
Author: MasterMarc
Master Marc lives in Singapore and his boys yangpup and boydenon rock his world. You can find him on Fetlife as Deviance_Desire.
Quiz – Discover your Personal Erotic Myth
A Personal Erotic Myth (PEM) contains the fantasy imagery, story-lines, dialogue, props, settings attire, personas and actions, that drive a person that has a PEM to orgasm, or other deep erotic states. It is often expressed in fetish, kink and D/s-BDSM oriented sex. Some people are quite aware of their PEM. Some may have multiple PEM’s…
I’m a slave but not submissive
If you want to see sparks fly in an online forum, just mention how you are a slave, but not submissive. Not possible, you’ll hear from many. Do you submit to your Master? Of course you do, so you must be submissive. To talk about this I think we first have to separate out personality…
Is it Topping from the Bottom?
No-one is going to deny that Tops need feedback in a scene. This commonly includes the bottom communicating needs, discomfort and safety concerns. or communicating and processing their feelings in aftercare. At the same time, a basic working definition of topping from the bottom might be: “an attempt by the bottom to steer play or…
When the Fantasy Gets Real
Fantasy feels good. It’s malleable, predictable, controllable and mouldable. It’s shaped perfectly to fit into all our crevices and to stroke all our sensitive spots. Reality, on the other hand, is often uncomfortable, unpredictable and uncontrollable. WHERE IS THAT GREY LINE BETWEEN FANTASY AND REALITY IN BDSM? It’s probably worth asking, before going any further,…
Illustrated Guide – Neurochemicals
One of the great joys of the kink community is that everyone comes at things from a different angle. At a munch you might talk to someone who sees things in terms of energy and spirit, or someone who finds their joy in the sensate. One discussion you’re likely to come across is “the science…
Venn Diagrams for the Mathematically Minded New Dom
The English language is sometimes a blunt instrument, and that makes “dominant” a tricky word. There is “dominant” in terms of personality traits, and there is “dominant” as a chosen relationship role. Often the same person is both, but it doesn’t have to be so. Let’s say, for the sake of this article, that the…
Quiz – Check Your Narcissistic Personality Inventory
Narcissism in personality trait is generally conceived of as excessive self love. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a man who fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. The NPI was developed by Raskin and Hall (1979) for the measurement of narcissism as a personality trait in social psychological research. It is…
Is It True That Power Corrupts?
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord John Dalberg-Acton A question those of us in D/s relationships would be right to ask ourselves more often than others is: Does power corrupt? “Power corrupts” is a common enough saying, and usually it is pointing to behaviour that violates norms or values. In politics…
Is Your Idea of Alpha Male Behaviour Wrong?
Native Americans have long recognised wolves as kindred spirits. Perhaps even more-so than apes, wolves have very similar social structure to humans. So, it’s interesting to read the observations of veteran wolf researcher Rick McIntyre in this article from the New York Times. The main characteristic of an alpha male wolf,” the veteran wolf researcher…