by Hermes Solenzol This practice seems to be quite common in the world of Dominance/submission (D/s). I have seen people who I respect a lot as Doms do it. And, given the enormous overlap between BDSM and polyamory / non-monogamy, it’s something that needs to be considered carefully from the ethical point of view. It…
Author: MasterMarc
Master Marc lives in Singapore and his boys yangpup and boydenon rock his world. You can find him on Fetlife as Deviance_Desire.
Coming Out as Kinky – Open or Closeted in Public?
It’s said that kinky gay guys have two coming outs. First there’s coming out as gay, then, for some of us, there’s coming out as non-vanilla. Of course, neither of those processes are compulsory, that’s our choice. I’m oversimplifying, of course. I’m a gay, leather-identifying sadistic Dom in a polyamorous relationship. Close friends who’ve known…
The Seven Elements of Submission
by Hermes Solenzol Although much has been written about the different techniques used in bondage and sadomasochism, less effort has been put into systematizing the dynamics of a Dominance/submission (D/s) relationship. D/s is much more complex than the Dominant simply ordering the submissive around. It begins when the Dominant and the submissive agree that they…
Predicament Bondage
You’ll be familiar with the saying “choosing between a rock and a hard place”. Predicament bondage is an evil game that leaves the bottom with (usually) two choices, which they’re forced to choose between. Both choices have unpleasant outcomes, but there’s no way out. They have to choose option A or option B, or switch…
Panic Attacks in BDSM Scenes
by Hermes Solenzol Among the many problems that can happen in a scene, panic attacks can be a serious one, especially if the Top doesn’t know how to handle them. They are more common than you may think. Last month, during a talk I gave at Threshold (the BDSM organization of Los Angeles), I asked…
90 Creative Ideas for Erotic Humiliation & Degradation
We get a lot of queries about humiliation & degradation, specifically about practical ideas for things to do. Not every activity is suitable for every person, but here’s 90 fun ones. I didn’t write these, they’ve been passed around on the internet for a while, and before we get into the fun bit I wanted…
Being a Leatherboy is a Lifestyle and a State of Mind
by boydon freeman We all know about Masters and slaves, Tops and bottoms, Doms and subs, but what exactly is a leatherboy? All around the US, leatherboys are participating in clubs, competing in contests, and volunteering for fund-raisers. The boy presence is very much in evidence at leather events. Maybe it would be helpful to…
Taking Out the Garbage
I read something interesting today that I wanted to share, because with all this radical self-reflection we all seem to do these days it resonated as kind of important. The short version is here, on Peter Rudd’s wonderful Coromandal blog. He excerpts from the much longer article Sons of The Beach on WorldHum, and his…
Quiz – Which of the Five Love Languages Do You Speak?
Gary Chapman’s best selling book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate posits five ways that we express and experience love: • Words of Affirmation • Acts of Service • Receiving Gifts • Quality Time • Physical Touch Everyone has a primary and a secondary love language. These are the…
Illustrated Guide – Nipple Toys
We’ve reblogged this illustration from Boyfriend and ExBoyfriend BDSM Gallery, one of the many sites that Tumblr killed in their purge. This is a regular series of illustrated guides. You can find the others here. nipple clamps: Any clamp or clamp-like device designed to compress the subject’s nipples. May include a mechanism for adjusting or…