We spend a lot of time talking about pain and pleasure in the BDSM community. It’s a very individual thing, and we all have our own preferred levels, and our different responses to pain during a session. Athletes often have their own way of processing challenges to sustain themselves till the final line, and in…
Author: boy denon
boydenon is the 25 year old slaveboy owned by Master Marc. he lives in Malaysia. he is a painter and poet at heart and is constantly and passionately curious about the unknown.
Seeing Ourselves in the Mirror of subspace and Topspace
We try our best to understand subspace and topspace, but what are these spaces that we are talking about? Many people talk about them in terms of neurochemicals. The pain induced during a scene triggers the sympathetic nervous system, resulting in releasing epinephrine from adrenal glands, and the flushing of endorphins into the blood system….
Turning Pain Into Pleasure
Pain is a huge part of BDSM. We seem to talk about it all the time. But, language being the blunt instrument that it is, do we really understand each other when we say things like “hit me” or “i love pain”? For some people, pain directly equates to “abuse” or “self harm”, and there…
The Complex Relationship Between BDSM and Mental Illness
The relationship between BDSM and mental health is complex, and can be confusing. Take, for example, depression. For those in the BDSM community who suffer from depression, is there any relationship? And if there is, was there an attraction to BDSM because of (diagnosed or undiagnosed) depression? Does the BDSM make it better or worse?…
Common Sense is Not So Common (don’t be a dick!)
by MutualRespect Voltaire was a talented French writer, playwright, philosopher and historian from the 17th century. He was an outspoken critic of the French aristocracy, religious dogma and corrupt institutions. He was banished from France after a fall out with a minor aristocrat and was exiled to the United Kingdom for three years during the…
Tips For Behavior Modification, Conditioning and Development
B.F. Skinner, known as the “Father of Behaviorism” developed a theory of operant conditioning, which states that all behavior is governed by reinforcing and punishing stimuli. Behavior modification uses a scheduled approach that rewards desired behavior and punishes undesirable behavior. Many people get offended if you mention child psychology (or heaven forbid, dog training) in…
What is Edge Play?
by MutualRespect Defining edge play is a tricky business. Not because the definition is slippery, but because you need to also address the prejudices of those who do not understand it. The public’s natural opinion of edge play is that it is dangerous and abusive. Everything we do in kink carries a certain level of…
submissive versus slave in BDSM
In BDSM lingo, we often confuse different terminology due to a lack of resources. Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and all the fantasy we’re exposed to (whether that’s fiction, porn or pickup sites), terms like slave and submissive (or Dominant and Master) can be thrown around interchangeably. But sometimes words are supposed to have…
Pleasure and Pain: An Ode to Spankings
by Madame Beatrice When I think of spankings, I think of two things: transference and release. A spanking isn’t simply the sum of swats on a submissive’s beautifully curved ass; it’s a transfer of energy from one mind’s body into the flesh of another mind and body. Each time contact is made between an open…
Negotiating a Chastity Contract
We’ve added a Chastity Contract to our free downloads in the sidebar, or you can download it here. It’s in Word format, so that you can edit it to your own unique needs. Many people use contracts to formalise parts (or all) of their power exchange. There’s something official and serious about putting a signature…