Whatever it is, coronavirus has made the mighty kneel and brought the world to a halt like nothing else could. Our minds are still racing back and forth, longing for a return to “normality”, trying to stitch our future to our past and refusing to acknowledge the rupture. But the rupture exists. And in the midst of this terrible despair, it offers us a chance to rethink the doomsday machine we have built for ourselves. Nothing could be worse than a return to normality.

Historically, pandemics have forced humans to break with the past and imagine their world anew. This one is no different. It is a portal, a gateway between one world and the next.

We can choose to walk through it, dragging the carcasses of our prejudice and hatred, our avarice, our data banks and dead ideas, our dead rivers and smoky skies behind us. Or we can walk through lightly, with little luggage, ready to imagine another world. And ready to fight for it.

Arundhati Roy, The Way Ahead

We’re living through what must surely be the most challenging times in our collective memory. It’s frightening and intense. In some ways it is isolating, as we retreat into our homes and firmly close the door. In other ways there is a strange sense of camaraderie. We’re all experiencing this in real-time together. With technology, we’ve never been so far apart and so close together.

In good times, I think it’s easy to think of us all as robust. Most people have a layer of strength that buffers the ups and downs, and that’s not difficult for us to maintain while things are going smoothly. Right now, we’re seeing that facade fall away.

I had to go to my local mall a few days ago to get to a supermarket. It’s the first time I’ve needed to do that in a couple of weeks, and the tension was palatable. There was no joi de vivre, no laughter. You can feel the pressure that everyone is under, and how they are just barely coping with what is going on.

And, that’s OK. That’s the reality right now. There is no “glass half full” or “glass half empty” way of looking at things. The glass has shattered.

D/s IN A STRANGE NEW REALITY

Some of us are bunkered down with our one life partner. Some of us are not and are experiencing a massive (or total) reduction in physical time with our other/s. Whichever it is, I think for many people it is going to have challenges, as we deal with the changes in our lives and the intensity of what is going on.

I’ve seen a lot of people struggling with the physical lately. Fetlife is full of questions like “what kind of tasks can I assign my sub over distance?”. It’s interesting to see what people prioritise as important, but I think underneath all these questions is really a common thread: “how do I keep my relationship healthy in this suddenly changed world?”

I don’t have an answer. I don’t think there is one singular answer. I do have a suggestion.

I think it’s a time for many of us to develop deeper connections with our partner/s. It’s a time to share what we desire, what we need, what we want. And, to go deeper into them and the things that make them who they are.

It’s a time to plan for the future – this pandemic will end.

The challenge is to make and build on this connection and come out with stronger, more solid bonds.

As Arundhati Roy says in the quote above, we can drag the carcass of the old with us, or we can imagine something new.

Feature Image: Mercury Inventing the Caduceus, 1860/62 by Henri Michel Antoine Chapu