Erotic sexual denial is a sexual practice in which a heightened state of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended length of time without orgasm. Commonly, most of us would probably call it “orgasm control”. For some, it’s a common part of a BDSM or sexual bondage scene.

It can be short term or long term.

If you hear someone talk about edging, unless they’re landscape gardeners they are usually talking about a tease and denial form of orgasm control, building up to a point just before an orgasm and then reducing stimulation so that it’s not triggered.

Long term orgasm control is about reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation over a longer period. Often that means a chastity device as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection.

SHORT TERM DENIAL AND EDGING

Tease and denial

Tease and denial describes a situation where a person’s genitalia are stimulated until he or she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, to keep the recipient on the very brink or “edge” of orgasm but without the promise of orgasm at the end.

If they do orgasm without stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm”, as opposed to being a “denied orgasm” (sometimes known as “blue balls”).

An edging session might go to the point of orgasm multiple times, but without actual orgasm, and this can trigger intense arousal and psychological need.

Tie and tease

It’s common in edging to use physical restraints to intensify the helplessness. Situations involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.

Total denial

Physical barriers or devices such as a chastity belt don’t always need to be long term. They can be used in a session to prevent stimulation. For guys, having a cage on can be painful with erections, so it can be part of an SM scene.

Deconstructed orgasm

A deconstructed orgasm can take on characteristics of a medical scene, in which stimulation and arousal is conducted at a very slow pace, allowing the ‘stimulator’ to obtain feedback from the ‘stimulatee’ (generally spoken, but conceivably obtained by means of body language or measuring certain bodily responses and functions). The feedback guides the progress towards eventual release, and the orgasm is delivered in a “scientific” senario (whereupon observations and measurements may be continued).

EROTIC DENIAL AS CONTROL

Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.

It’s often used in humiliation play and is a widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The top will often deny the submissive sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant’s own desires to erotically humiliate.

But, it doesn’t have to be humiliation at all.

Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers’ lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control.

FURTHER READING

• Wikipedia – Orgasm Control
• Girl on the Net – Orgasm Control – The Hot and the Not
• RHNP – A New Dominant’s Guide to Orgasm Control and Orgasm on Demand
• Deviance & Desire – Chastity
• CougarLife – The Benefits of Male Orgasm Denial
• Awen Therapy – Two Therapists Talking: Orgasm Control (video)
• B.E.S.T. Slave Training – Orgasm Control / Release Training
• BDSM Training Academy – Orgasm Control Training: They Can’t Resist
• Submissive Guide – Orgasm on Command Training: The Process for the Submissive

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

A large chunk of this article has been adapted from World Heritage Encyclopedia, Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0, and under that license you are welcome to use the article on our site for your own projects under the same license.