The journey of being a sub or slave to a Master is more than just passive obedience. You’ll hear lots of advice, like “always be obedient” and “never say no”, but it takes something more to build the foundations of a 24/7 lifestyle relationship that will last.
Like anything, BDSM relationships burn out. The thrill of transgression, that spark of mystery, is soon considered journeyed territory. Real relationships exist outside the playroom as well as inside it, which means they must be more than the erotica you might have read. In fact, that part of the relationship probably becomes something like reading the same erotica over and over again.
Hence, being a better slave requires more than just being told what to do and passively following orders. A good submissive requires profound understanding of the Master, what turns Him on and what turns Him off. Taking initiative to spark and surprise the Master may seem easy, but actually it can be more difficult than you think. It is a skill to know your Master, and what is desired and what is not.
It’s not the Master’s burden to carry a BDSM relationship by himself. The submissive shares that burden, perhaps in a special way that only a submissive can. In the same way that your Master makes you feel submissive, there will be things you can do that let your Master feel Dominant. If you wonder why you feel visceral when you look into your Master eyes, perhaps you can start asking yourself what your Master feels when He looks into your submissive eyes.
It may go against the notion of IE (Internal Enslavement), but i personally feel that IE is only an achievable lifestyle choice for a very small minority of BDSM relationships. For the rest of us, having a 24/7 lifestyle is difficult and it requires more than just a one-way power dynamic. It is a difficult concept, and it involves delicately dealing with the contradiction of giving up control while at the same time exercising some control.
my humble suggestion is to find out and truly understand what your Master likes and what makes Him feel Dominant/Sadistic/Masterly. Find out how you can satisfy His needs for your submission. Explore what initiative He likes you to take, and what times/places/circumstances he wants you to be active or passive. Instead of kneeling quietly in the backyard, perhaps crawl in and slowly undress, and see how your Master reacts and take it from there.
Relationships are an exchange. That’s what “power exchange” is. It’s your job as a submissive to look for the cues, follow the leads and understand the triggers. With that knowledge you can provide sensual pleasure to your Master – mind, body and soul – that will make your relationship solid, nourishing and sustainable.
FURTHER READING
• Dominant Soul – Building Her Up!: Nurturing A Confident, Vivacious, Sensual Submissive
• Submissive Loving – Training the Sensual Submissive
• Submissive Guide – 24/7 Slavery