i identify as a slaveboy which, as you know, means I have no identity, live in a cage, eat pain like chocolates and spend my time either having sex or waiting lasciviously on my Master summoning me to use (hopefully for sex). Obviously we have hot sex pretty much every minute of every day.
It’s a fairy tale life.
i mean really… it’s a fairy tale.
When we’re taking those first tentative steps into discovering that our kinks and fetishes make us outliers, we’re often met with that fairy tale. Some might be lucky enough to have an experienced mentor, but most of us discover a lot of how we are “supposed to be” through random websites and idealised conversations on forums and chat-boards. Reality is mixed with fantasy and without experience it’s hard to tell one from the other.
In the fairy tale, Snow White is kissed by the Prince and they live happily ever after. In our BDSM fairy tale the slave meets the Master, all the day-to-day normal demands of the world (like holding down a job, maintaining a social life, nourishing the brain) melt instantly away. The slave’s own identity leaves him and he is blissed. The Master, who is obviously wealthy and lives in a stately home with large dungeon, is fulfilled by having a mindless servant and sex toy at his beck and call.
i understand how easy it is to be sucked into this fairy tale. Real representation of BDSM lifestyle can be all but invisible when you’re searching, and it’s natural to have fantasies about luxurious ideal lives. Every girl wants to grow up to be Snow White. Every Dominant wants to grow up and become a powerful Master. Every submissive want to grow up to be collared and living a happy life.
In reality, we all need to live a life. Mortgages need to be paid, the laundry needs to be done, Master is not a private instructor of your day to day life, and sometimes a day consists of rushing off to work and coming home late. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you’re in, BDSM or otherwise. Perhaps you don’t have sex every day, you don’t give roses everyday, but occasionally you do.
We all like to sometimes drift off into our imagination and dream of our ideals. It’s healthy and it makes us happy. Fairy tales have their place, but it’s a place to visit, not to dwell. Ultimately, we wear our collar everyday and we’re ready to serve our Master whenever we’re needed. That is part of the lifestyle, part of us, and part of our identity.
It’s always about having a balance between ideals and reality.