“Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a severe condition in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present in—and alternately take control of—an individual. The person also experiences memory loss that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. “
“DID reflects a failure to integrate various aspects of identity, memory and consciousness in a single multidimensional self. Usually, a primary identity carries the individual’s given name and is passive, dependent, guilty and depressed. When in control, each personality state, or alter, may be experienced as if it has a distinct history, self-image and identity. The alters’ characteristics—including name, reported age and gender, vocabulary, general knowledge, and predominant mood—contrast with those of the primary identity. Certain circumstances or stressors can cause a particular alter to emerge. The various identities may deny knowledge of one another, be critical of one another or appear to be in open conflict.”
Dissociative Identity Disorder, or what used to be known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is difficult to diagnose and challenging to give terminology to because of the broad spectrum of different ways it can manifest.
“Dissociative” suggests that there is a loss of control in navigating different aspects of ourselves, or that we’ve lost our mental map and things have become detached. Like other mental health issues, like Borderline Personality Disorder and anxiety, it’s really the more extreme end of a spectrum. We all have different aspects of personality within us and they become dominant at different times. That’s deemed “normal”, it’s only when it becomes extreme or out of control that it becomes an issue.
Every one of us has different roles at different times of the day. We are employee to an employer, child of our parents, slave for our Master. We are in the presence of the past, and sometimes embrace memories from there. All of these “personalities”, identities or different sense of selves are what makes us who we are.
DID becomes most obviously a problem when there is a mismatch between the dominant part of the identity and the environment. For example, at work we try to act like a good employee, but in the case of DID something in the work environment might trigger the “child of our parents” aspect, perhaps a memory or something in the subconscious, and that aspect of identity comes out without control.
During our development of selves, we learn to separate our societal roles – school, family, talking to authority figures, talking to our friends. Some of us had a harder time than others learning how to form clear distinctions between different societal roles, some of us may have been traumatised by childhood violence, some of us simply couldn’t understand why we needed to put on different masks to interact with different social groups.
When that carries over into adulthood, the identities are scattered, disconnected and hard to control. Because of that, our mental energy may dissociate from what is proper, or needed.
Here is what i think DID is, and how it differs from other spaces, such as age play space, slave space and sub space. I think we call it a mental illness when it jumbles up so much that it interferes with our daily life. Far to the extreme end of the identity control spectrum, certain identities come out at the wrong place and wrong time. That is when, i think, it becomes a mental health issue. I believe that sometimes that is so extreme that our entire subconscious can be taken over.
DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER AND BDSM
It’s difficult to draw the line and define “how much is too much”, or when DID becomes DID. Could having a younger identity in my heart be defined as DID? That means age play could also be considered DID, and in fact, the idea of “dissociation” is very similar to what we called “subspace” and “Domspace”, which many describe as dissociation – perhaps along the lines of our spirit leaving our body and interacting in a way that is outside of our control.
I personally think the BDSM is very inclusive. We embrace anything from mild fetishes to heavy Sadomasochism, sexy bondage to intense blood play. And I also have no doubt that when it is being done properly and knowledgeably, BDSM and kink is therapeutic.
I think the first stage in incorporating DID in BDSM is understanding your personas and not being ashamed of any identities. If you feel like you are a dirty janitor, the nasty principle, or the little kid of whatever age, don’t suppress it. Start recognizing each of them, and exploring them all.
If it’s possible (and it might not be) first set a host for all of them, choosing one identity that is in charge of every other identities. Usually that would be the identity that is most logical and rational.
If it’s possible (and again it might not be), check back with the host identity after experiences with other identities, reflecting and trying to get some kind of objective perspective.
Communication, communication and communication. BDSM often deals with intensity and mental spaces, and these can easily trigger and mess up the already jumbled identities. It’s always going to be safest and most fulfilling to play with an informed partner. If you’ve found a good partner, it may be possible to explore the identities together, during play and in daily life.
If it’s possible for a host identity to remain in control of other identities, then a particular precaution for potential DID situations may be to have a second unique safeword for the host identity to call specifically for DID issues.
Aftercare is extremely important too, between you and your partner, and if possible between the different identities. The host identity becomes a type of Dom to the other identities, exerting control as it is needed and assisting in the come-down and care of the other identities after play.
FURTHER READING
• PaganBDSM – DID and BDSM
• Fetlife DID Discussion – People with MPD and those who love or play with them