Show me a BDSM toybox without some kind of impact toy and I’ll show you a Dom that is probably thinking of doing some online shopping.
But, I’ve seen some pictures on Tumblr recently that I hope are faked, because the bodies are marked up in areas they really shouldn’t be marked up in.
I studied anatomy in art school, but if you didn’t then fret not because we love you. I spent the morning doodling on my computer for you, and in our free downloads we now have a PDF of BDSM Impact Play Safe Zones. It’s A4 sized, but it’s a vector so it’ll print nicely at large sizes too.
I didn’t draw below the surface of the body, so here’s Kinky Anatomy 101 – the quick crash-course in parts of the body you really (really!) want to avoid:
KIDNEYS
These are located in the back, below the ribcage and above the butt. If you have a whip or a flogger you’ll be using the back as a nice broad target but you should be leaving this entire area alone. The kidneys are extremely delicate and it doesn’t take much to impact them, so consider this area a definite no-fly zone.
TAILBONE
While you’re avoiding the kidney area, keep clear of the tailbone too. It’s at the base of the spine and although a whip is unlikely to break it, it’s certainly possible. It’s also very uncomfortable when it’s bruised.
SPINE
The spine in general, top to tail, should be avoided. It’s easy to bruise because there’s not much protecting it, and it’s made up of disks that could be dislodged or impacted.
HIPS
The sciatic nerve and several other nerves run through the buttocks and across the bony outer part of the upper thigh/hip. They’re fairly well protected by fat and muscle in your butt, but there’s not very much protection in the hip area. If you’ve ever known anyone who’s had a pinched or impacted nerve here, you’ll know it’s not nice.
NECK
Along with your airways, your neck is a major superhighway of arteries, tendons and glands. There are things you can do in BDSM with the neck, but hitting it should never be one of them.
FACE
I’m not going to tell you not to face-slap, but if you are going to do it, do it safely. Use your other hand to support the head and focus on what you are doing. A sudden rush of air pressure can damage the eardrums, so ears are a no-go area.
A MESSAGE FROM THE SAFETY POLICE
I’m sure you know how to play safely, so I won’t drone on and bore you. Here’s just 3 hot tips:
• Have a safe word. Even if you’re a big, tough pain pig who thinks you’ll never call it, you might need it to stop play if something goes physically wrong. There’s good pain and bad pain, and if you feel bad pain you should stop and find out what has happened.
• Negotiate. If you’re bottoming, then tell your Top how far you want to go and set a hard limit. If he’s good then he won’t stop too soon and he won’t go too far.
• Avoid wannabes. If you’re playing with someone new, size them up. If you’re bottoming, and the Top looks or sounds inexperienced, then back away slowly. If they look drunk or drugged, then back away fast. If you’re a Top, and your bottom is inexperienced, then be prepared to alter your pace and style to suit them.
Thankyou mastermarc Sir, I will talk with my Top and bear these important words in mind Sir.
Woof.
L, x
Is it safe to hit the soles of the feet?
Hi A Curious Sub… Bastinado is totally a thing… https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_whipping
I wouldn’t think so, at least not for any intense impact other than a light slap. The sole of the foot contains tendons and bone close to the surface that is protected by a little bit of padding, but not much.
I mean, if everyone avoids inexperienced Tops, how are they gonna gain experience? What you should avoid is Tops who try to play above their level of competence, in unsafe ways.
If you want to play with an inexperienced Top, just negotiate accordingly… more detail planning, safer types of play, shorter scenes, and so on. Having an inexperienced Top give someone a well-negotiated good old hand-buttock spanking is not going to maim any bottom and will give them some very welcome experience and can give an experienced bottom an interesting change of pace.
Hi David… thanks for commenting. Absolutely, I totally agree with you. No-one starts out experienced and the only way to get there is to… well… have experiences. I think the red flag should get raised when you sense that someone is posing or pretending to have more experience than they actually have. If the negotiation is open and honest, then it’s really unlikely to be a safety issue.
Can you tell more about safety of flogging my boyfriends cock shaft? How about whipping his balls? I want to use a whip on him and maybe cane his hot rod. I think it is safe and I make the rules. But I don’t want to injure him.
Hi Maria
There is not much damage you can do to your bf’s shaft. It’s basically spongy tissue, so it will take a lot of beating. Cocks tend to live in a constricted and slightly damp environment, so if you break the skin it can take longer to heal than it would do for, say, a cut on the back of your hand.
Balls, on the other hand, carry significant risk. There are things you can do with them. If you slap on them a bit or tap on them with your cane then you can cause a lot of pain with low risk. And, they can absorb some impact without serious damage. How much “some” is, is a matter for your judgement and risk propensity. Ball-busting (kicking, punching etc) is not an uncommon form of SM play, but it is a risky one.
Really, unless you’re 100% confident in your expertise at controlling your whip for a feather-soft touch, I’d say stay well clear of the balls. Connecting with any force would definitely cause trauma and very possibly rupture. Both are extremely painful, and not the good type of pain, both can do permanent damage, and ruptures require surgery. You don’t want that.
We have a couple of articles by Fledermaus you might be interested in:
http://www.devianceanddesire.com/2015/06/cbt-cock-and-ball-torture-part-1/
http://www.devianceanddesire.com/2015/06/cbt-cock-and-ball-torture-part-2/
=) best wishes
Marc
Thanks. That’s great. He will have a very sore rod sometime soon. I was thinking of paddling the top of the balls where they meet the pubic area. Is that safe? I cannot help getting intense and severe so I had better not do his balls.
Now is it true that beating the cock is good for keeping him from PLOshriveling up as he gets older. He is already not as big as he was a few years ago and he is only 50s.
Hi Maria… I’ve never heard about beating helping shrinkage, but maybe you can convince HIM it’s therapy 😉 Play safe & have fun. =) Marc
How comes the forearm are green on both sides? Isn’t the inside a bit risky? At least as much as the calves, maybe more?
A friend of mine spanked her sub whit his bare hands while she was wearing a tight corset: the impact reached the kidneys from the buttocks, and there was a bit of blood in her urine, so avoid doing the same mistake 🙂 (if you do go see a doctor, she’ll give you antibiotics and you’ll be fine, I hear boxers have this kind of problems all the time, but if you are too shy and don’t, you might end up with a life treatening infection)
One thing about the yellow and orange areas: they can be extremly risky or totally ok depending on your choice of instrument, how deep the impact from it goes. Tuddy floggers for example don’t hurt much, but their impact can go very deep, so they are very dangerpus near the kidneys (hitting near them is enough to irritate them) while a bull whip can hurt a lot more but is much more superficial: you might cut the skin, but the impact will never reach the kidneys or anything like that.
About the feet soles, I’d paint them orange, you mught hit them with stingy things that don’t cut the skin, but I would be very carefull not to overdo it, there’s a lot of delicate nerves and padding tissue that you don’t want to risk ruining.
How much force to the balls will make a man double-up with abdominal pain but not damage the testicles?
This is an excellent information resource! We’re just in the process of publishing a BDSM erotica novel that includes storylines and scenes that are edgy and unethical. We don’t want to encourage unethical BDSM, so we’ve made an ‘Ethics’ page for our website, which includes a list of useful information resources. We’ve put this article on our list and linked to it on the ‘Ethics’ page of the ‘Mirror Secret Mirror’ website. Thanks for providing the world with helpful information like this 🙂