The topic of ADHD is under much debate, To what extent is distraction a mental illness? To what extent is the advancement of technology making everyone’s brain constantly jumpy?

It’s not likely to be resolved any time soon, and in the meantime psychiatrists are prescribing “focus drugs” to kids.

i myself have constant doubt about whether i do or do not have ADHD, and i’m very self-aware about using the term.

i will just share my own story without the label.

Sometimes i get distracted very easily, and sometimes it’s the opposite. When i get “into” something, my energy can totally focus and the world fades off. When i lose my interest, i can’t focus at all. There might as well be a wall of TV screens flashing different contents at me. i can’t pick which particular screen i am suppose to focus on.

It can be chaotic sometimes, but now that i know how my brain works, i get to fully utilise the time when i am hyperfocused and choose more mundane things during the time when i won’t be able to function.

my memories work differently from other people’s too. i remember experiences that meant a lot to me and forget about everything that i didn’t take seriously. And i don’t have absolute control of what to remember and what to forget. The memories seem to choose me, rather than me choosing the memories.

i grew up without knowing my condition, until last year when i was finally exposed to some professional support from my university. Since then, i’ve stopped stumbling around trying to match normative behaviour and i’ve started to invent my own way of living. i’m still learning how to function with this new knowledge, but suddenly new things have opened up for me, like my arch-enemy reading and writing (which has always been my number one difficulty).

HOW DOES ADHD AFFECT MY SERVITUDE?

i know i upset my Master sometimes, when i forget tasks that i am suppose to do, and that upsets me too. i also know that i have different energy levels to my Master and my Alpha sometimes, and i have to constantly be aware and keep reminding myself to step slightly back, or i would seem very pushy.

Yes, i do get distracted very frequently, and sometimes it means i don’t clearly hear commands given by my Master. That can annoy Him and me. i should be able to catch the orders like “flip over” or “kneel boy”.

BUT, my senses are often heightened when i am not distracted. i am aware of the level of coffee in the cup and can refill it before it runs out, and i can sense when the level of protocol has quietly turned up in the back of Master’s mind.

So, like everything, good and bad always comes together. i struggle to perform well in certain areas but i find it easier to perform excellently in others. It’s important to know my weakness and improve, but in the meanwhile i treasure the talented part of the self. It’s nothing to get low self-esteem about.

i am not sure about others, but i do have times where my ability to hyper-focus is being utilised in my servitude. The outside world disappears and i watch my Master smoke, for example. i open my mouth for Master’s cigarette ashes, and all i can see is His Hand, and the orange tip of the cigarette.

If you’re a Dom with an ADHD sub, please don’t judge us for our misbehaviour. we ourselves are often confused about our mistakes, and it’s certainly not that we don’t care, we want to care as much as we want to remember where the car is parked. If you try to find out why certain behaviour is happening, you might discover clues that can help us improve. Sometimes it’s hard to for us to tell You, because the only words that we can bring ourselves to speak, perhaps, is a weak “Sorry Sir, i will try to improve myself”.

Do i have ADHD? i don’t know, and i don’t think there is an absolute answer. All i know is that there are areas where i function slightly differently to others, and there is no point for me to keep questioning whether or not i have this label or that label. It’s more constructive if i focus on understanding how i work differently and how i can improve my servitude and my life for my Owner.

WHAT’S YOUR EXPERIENCE?

Does difficulty always focusing/concentrating affect your life as a sub/slave? Do you find that there are positives as well as negatives?

FURTHER READING

• BBC Science & Nature – Adult ADHD
• HelpGuide.org – Adult ADD/ADHD
• FetLife – Flashes of… ADHD & ADD