Walking out from the dark cloud wasn’t easy and never will be easy. There is no significant signboard showing your way out, and there are useless signboards everywhere, showing you the direction to another dark cloud.

Where is the signboard? The one that doesn’t cheat you and truly shows you the way out to the sunny, mellow beach?

i grew up with a small dark cloud above my head. As a kid, i jumped around and played around, and never noticed it was there.

It was there. Right above my head. As i grew up, life never got easier, and the dark cloud just grew bigger and bigger. And finally, my world was invaded and engulfed by the dark cloud. So thick, that i felt the need to hurt myself to not suffocate. i fought it hard, to a stage where i was lying inside a cluster of darkness, like the nucleus of an atom. But, i gave up, defeated.

i was just there, inside. i didn’t know how to walk out from the darkness and i gave up trying. i tried following so many different signboards and none of them led me to the brightness. There were times where i really couldn’t breathe. i’d pick up my own feet and run for miles, trying to get away from its suffocating presence.

Where was the signboard?

The signboard was basically the knowledge to recognise the dark cloud. To look closely at the dark cloud, and recognise its shades. Only then could i start walking, walking, walking to the direction of the light.

i’d say this to anyone living with depression. Step back from stumbling around and going in circles, stop right there. look closely at the dark cloud that makes you fear but doesn’t really want you to look at it. Investigate it, poke it, disassemble it.

i know it’s tough. For my life, i never knew what was outside of that cloud. All i had lived was darkness.

And i really hope you find something similar to what i found. i hope, if you’re like me, you’ll be able to recognise the direction of brightness. and start walking towards it.