One of the stigmas the BDSM community faces is the public confusion over where our lines of consent fall and at what point things are healthy versus unhealthy. To some extent, even as kinksters we have a hard time defining these things through our own eager urges for sadomasochistic acts. When we ourselves have difficulties…
Category: Self Harm
BDSM Might Not Be Therapy, But It Can Help
Can BDSM be a form of therapy? Is it therapeutic? What do we actually mean when we use the words “therapy” and “therapeutic”? Therapy means different things to different people. For individuals dealing with mental illness, therapy can be akin to physiotherapy, except happening in the mind. We need to stretch the mind in a correct…
Turning Pain Into Pleasure
Pain is a huge part of BDSM. We seem to talk about it all the time. But, language being the blunt instrument that it is, do we really understand each other when we say things like “hit me” or “i love pain”? For some people, pain directly equates to “abuse” or “self harm”, and there…
The Complex Relationship Between BDSM and Mental Illness
The relationship between BDSM and mental health is complex, and can be confusing. Take, for example, depression. For those in the BDSM community who suffer from depression, is there any relationship? And if there is, was there an attraction to BDSM because of (diagnosed or undiagnosed) depression? Does the BDSM make it better or worse?…
Masochism – Can It Be Cured?
CAN MASOCHISM BE CURED? This question carries a subtle pre-conceived notion of masochism – that masochism is a sickness or disease of some sort that needs to be cured. It’s the type of question that is raised with any socially deviant act, along the lines of “can homosexuality be cured” (still being debated, even in…
The Difference Between Masochism and Self-Harm
THE MOTIVATION BEHIND MASOCHISM AND SELF-HARM We have briefly talked separately about masochism and self-harm, but where is the line drawn, and are they interchangeable? The core distinction between them is the intention, or motivation of the person looking for the pain. Masochists derive meaning from pain, be it sexual pleasure, spiritual satisfaction, physical thrill…
Healthy Alternatives to Self-Harm and Self-Injury
I picked these images up randomly from Tumblr, so I apologise for not crediting them properly. There are some great suggestions for alternatives to self-harm in them and I wanted to share. FURTHER READING • Cornell University – The Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery • Self-Injury.net – FAQ • A Kind Dom –…
What is Self-Harm?
Most resources will tell you that people who self-harm are seeking emotional relief by self-inflicting pain. Through the presence of pain sensations on your physical level, nerves send signals to the brain and take the mental energy or mental focus away from the intense emotional disturbance from mental issues that one is dealing with. The…
What is BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)? An Introduction.
Master Marc asked me a few days ago how i knew something i was feeling was Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and not Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). i described it this way. When a trigger event happens, with PTSD you suddenly find yourself dealing with something that has happened to you in the past. But…